Q: What did the blonde say when she was offered a position at the UN?
A: Would that be a "missionary position?"
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This blonde goes into the drugstore looking for a birthday card.
She asks the clerk if they have any new and different cards — something unusual.
The clerk points her to a new card just in that day — “Happy Birthday to the Boy who Popped My Cherry.”
The blonde replied, “How cool! I’ll take the whole box!”
My blonde girlfriend went to the doctors this morning and was told she had two weeks to live.
She chose last week and this week.
Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?
A: They can't get their heads in the jars.
A blonde buys a used sports car.
However, during the first joy ride, the engine jerks and the car slows to a stop.
The blonde calls a tow truck.
The mechanic sets to work, and 10 minutes later, the car is running again.
"What was the matter?" she asks.
"Simple really, just sh*t in the carburetor" he replies.
Taken aback she asks, "Oh, how many times a week do I have to put that in?"
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Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
Q: How do you keep a blonde busy for 7 hours?
A: Give her a piece of paper that has the words "Turn Over" on both sides.
What do UFO's and smart blondes have in common?
"You keep hearing about them, but never see any."
Q: What can strike a blonde without her even knowing it?
A: A thought.
A blonde made several attempts to sell her old car.
She was having a lot of problems finding a buyer because the car had 340,000 miles on it.
She discussed her problem with a brunette that she worked with at a bar.
The brunette suggested, "There may be a chance to sell that car easier, but it's not going to be legal."
"That doesn't matter at all," replied the blonde.
"All that matters it that I am able to sell this car."
"Alright," replied the brunette.
In a quiet voice, she told the blonde:
"Here is the address of a friend of mine.
He owns a car repair shop around here.
Tell him I sent you, and he will turn the counter back on your car to 40,000 miles.
Then it shouldn't be a problem to sell your car."
The following weekend, the blonde took a trip to the mechanic on the brunette's advice.
About one month after that, the brunette saw the blonde and asked, "Did you sell your car?"
"No!" replied the blonde.
"Why should I?
It only has 40,000 miles on it."