A blonde has just gotten a new sports car.
She cuts out in front of a semi, and almost causes it to drive over a cliff.
The driver furiously motions for her to pull over, and she does.
The driver gets out and draws a circle and tells her to stand in it.
Then he gets out his knife and cuts up her leather seats.
He turns around and sees she's smiling.
So he goes to his truck, takes out a baseball bat, and starts busting her windows and beating her car.
He looks back to see that she's laughing.
He's really mad now, so he takes his knife and slices her tires.
He turns around and she's laughing so hard, she's about to fall down.
He demands, "What's so funny?"
She says, "Every time you weren't looking, I stepped out of the circle!"
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Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?" The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see!"
Why did the blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
Because it said concentrate.
What do you do when a blonde throws a pin at you?
"Run faster....she's got a hand grenade in her mouth."
Why do blondes like blonde jokes?
'Cause they make them feel famous!
A blonde was cruising down the highway at breakneck speed when a cop pulled her over.
“May I see your license and registration, please?” asked the cop.
Miffed, the blonde said, “I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my license. Now today you want me to show it to you!”
Q: What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?
A: Put either of 'em in a car and they're fucked.
A blonde guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom.
He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting.
"What's up?" he says.
"I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman.
He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says,"Daddy!
Daddy!
Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!"
The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door.
Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor.
You rotten bastard, "says the husband,"my wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!!!
How does a blonde answer the question, ‘Are you sexually active?’
‘No, I just lie there.’
Death: It's your time. give me your hand
Blonde: No! i know that if i dont touch you then I'll never die!
Death: Holy shit! You figured out the key to living forever! You're soooo smart! High five!
Blonde: *high fives*
Death: Typical blonde... Dumbass...