"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague.
"Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."
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Q: How do you know if a Chinese tried to rob your house?
A: You get home and your maths homework is done, your computer is upgraded, and two hours later He is still trying to back out of your driveway.
Student: What’s infinity?
Math Teacher: Think of a number.
Student: Okay, I’ve got one.
Teacher: Good. That’s not it.
There are three kinds of accountants in the world.
Those who can count and those who can't.
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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.
When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought, "Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said, "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.
The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."
The farmer was amazed - she was right!
So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.
Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
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So Descartes goes into a bar late one night for a beer.
At closing time, the bartender makes Last Call and asks him, "Get you another?"
Descartes replies, "I think not." And disappears.
Infinity mathematicians came to bar.
First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter...
The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right?
Well he's currently making his third attempt.
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