"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague. "Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."
Student: What’s infinity? Math Teacher: Think of a number. Student: Okay, I’ve got one. Teacher: Good. That’s not it.
How does a cow do math? With a cowculator.
I came here to do 2 things: work on my math skills.
Two random variables were talking in a bar. They thought they were being discrete but I heard their chatter continuously.
Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.
What happened to the plant in math class? It grew square roots.
A lawyer, an engineer and a mathematician were called in for a test. The engineer went in first and was asked, "What is 2+2?" The engineer thought awhile and finally answered, "4." Then the mathemetician was called in and was asked the same question. With little thought he replied, "4.0" Then the lawyer was called in, and was asked the same question. The lawyer answered even quicker than the mathematician, "What do you want it to be?"
Once a teacher asked one of her students to memorize the numbers from 1-10. And that night when he was memorizing he saw his mother drinking 7up, so the next day the teacher asked the student to say the numbers that he memorized so he replied," 1-2-3-4-5-6-8-9-10". The teacher was confused so she asked the student," Where is the 7" so he said," my mom drank it last night!"