"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague.
"Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."
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Q: Did you hear that joke about the infinite line?
A: Don’t worry, It doesn’t have a point!
The teacher asks a student "If you have $5 and billy takes $3, how much do you have left?"
The student replies "Not enough for fucking lunch and billy ain't gonna have no got damn teeth left stealing my 3 dollars."
The teacher asked Willy, "If you have seven cookies and Billy asks you for three, how many cookies have been left with you?"
Willy immediately answered, "Seven!"
Q: How do mathematicians induce good behavior in their children?
A: "If I've told you n times, I've told you n+1 times..."
Three men, a philosopher, a mathematician and an idiot, were out riding in the car when it crashed into a tree.
Before anyone knows it, the three men found themselves standing before the pearly gates of Heaven, where St. Peter and the Devil were standing nearby.
"Gentlemen," the Devil started, "Due to the fact that Heaven is now overcrowded, St. Peter has agreed to limit the number of people entering Heaven.
If anyone of you can ask me a question which I don't know or cannot answer, then you're worthy enough to go to Heaven; if not, then you'll come with me to Hell."
The philosopher then stepped up, "OK, give me the most comprehensive report on Socrates' Socrates' teachings."
With a snap of his finger, a stack of paper appeared next to the Devil.
The philosopher read it and concluded it was correct.
"Then, go to Hell!"
With another snap of his finger, the philsopher disappeared.
The mathematician then asked,"Give me the most complicated formula ever theorized!"
With a snap of his finger, another stack of paper appeared next to the Devil. The mathematician read it and reluctantly agreed it was correct.
"Then, go to Hell!" With another snap of his finger, the mathematician disappeared too.
The idiot then stepped forward and said, "Bring me a chair!"
The Devil brought forward a chair. "Drill 7 holes on the seat."
The Devil did just that.
The idiot then sat on the chair and let out a very loud fart.
Standing up, he asked, "Which hole did my fart come out from?"
The Devil inspected the seat and said,"The third hole from the right."
"Wrong," said the idiot, "it's from my asshole."
And the idiot went to heaven.
What is the shortest mathematicians joke?
Let epsilon be smaller than zero.
The square root of Pain is Chuck Norris.
Vote:
Yo mama is so fat that she took geometry at the school because she heard there will be some pi.