Joke #5480

"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague. "Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."

Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences.

The teacher asked Willy, "If you have seven cookies and Billy asks you for three, how many cookies have been left with you?" Willy immediately answered, "Seven!"

Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four."

Q: What is the most erotic number? A: 2110593! Q: Why? A: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3.

How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred? On the fingers!

Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever? A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.

Why was the math textbook so sad? He had a lot of problems!

Chuck Norris can convert kilograms into centimeters.

A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole. They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole. It kept falling down, etc. A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground and measure it easily. When he leaves, one engineer says to the other: "Just like a mathematician! We need to know the height, and he gives us the length!"

A group of blondes were willing to prove that not all blondes were dumb. They established a judges panel of people to ask the questions. On the day of the judging the people started off by asking, "What is 59 + 2?" The first blonde contestant responded by saying, "57?" The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" Then they asked, "What is 15 - 5?" The blonde responded, "20, right?" Once again the rest of the contestants screamed, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!" The judges decided to go easier on her and asked, "What is 1 + 2?" "Is it 3?" said the blonde. The rest of the blondes said, "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"