A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car.
The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat.
"No!" yells the blonde.
Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.
"For the last time, no!" says the blonde.
Frustrated, the guy asks, "Well, why the hell not?"
The blonde says, "Because I wanna stay up here with you!"
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Q: A smart blond, Santa and a pregnant woman are on an elevator.
A twenty-dollar bill lies on the ground.
Who picks it up?
A: The pregnant woman... the other two aren't real!
A blonde was trapped on an island and had to swim 1000 miles to get back to the mainland.
She swam 500 miles and got tired, so swam back to the island.
A blonde gets her haircut while wearing a pair of headphones.
The hairdresser asks her to take them off, but she protests that she'll die without them.
The hairdresser sighs, and starts cutting the hair around the headphones.
Soon, the blonde falls asleep, and the hairdresser removes the headphones.
A few minutes later, the blonde collapses, dead on the floor.
Alarmed, the hairdresser puts the headphones to his ear and hears, "Breathe in. Breathe out."
Q: What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A: It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
A blind man walks into a bar.
The blind man sits down, thinking he'd break the ice with the bartender by asking "Wanna hear a blond joke?"
In a hushed voice, a man beside him says "Before you tell that joke, you should know our bartender IS blonde, or bouncer is blond, I'm a 6'4" black belt, the man sitting on the other side of me is 6'2, 250lbs, and a rugby player. The guy sitting next to you is pushing 300, 6'6, and he's a wrestler. We're ALL blond. So you think about it mister, do you really wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man sat for a second, thinking over the odds and then replied "No, not if I have to explain it five times."
How many blondes does it take to milk a cow?
Five - one to hold the udder, and four to lift and the cow up and down.
Two blondes were talking together:
First: "How about your engaged Jim? Is he keeping well?"
Second: "He isn't just now my engaged."
First: Hi good news. His nose was too big and his head was bald with an ugly face!"
Second: "He is now my husband!"
Vote:
Why is it hard for a blonde to count to 70?
Because 69 is such a mouthful.
I looked into a blonde's eyes, but all I saw was the back of her head!