A blonde goes on a hot date and ends up making out with the guy in his car.
The guy asks if she would like to go in the backseat.
"No!" yells the blonde.
Things get even hotter, and the guy asks again.
"For the last time, no!" says the blonde.
Frustrated, the guy asks, "Well, why the hell not?"
The blonde says, "Because I wanna stay up here with you!"
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A blonde walks into a gas station and says to the manager, "I locked my keys in my car. Do you have a coat hanger or something I can stick through the window to unlock the door?"
The manager gives the blonde a bent coat hanger.
A few minutes later, he goes out to check on her.
As her approaches the blonde working the hanger in window, he notices another blonde inside the car, coaching "No, no! A little to the left."
Q: What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A: Humpme Dumpme.
There's a blonde walking down a trail.
She comes to a river and stops. She looks right then left.
She sees another blonde on the other side.
She asks her "how do you get to the other side?"
The blonde on the other side look right then left and says "you are on the other side"!
Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"
In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something.
"Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt.
The guy sitting next to me is 6'2, weighs 225 and he's a rugby player.
The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler.
Each one of US is blonde.
Think about it, Mister.
Do you still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five f*cking times."
Blonde Logic
January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.
February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels..."duh"...bottles won't fit in typewriter!
March - Got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid...8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!
June - Tried to go water skiing...couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition...learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!
August - Got locked out of car in rain storm...car swamped, because top was down.
September - The capital of California is "C"...isn't it?
October - Hate M & M's...they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!
December - Couldn't call 911..."duh"...there's no "eleven" button on the phone!
What a year!
What job did the blonde have at the M&M factory?
Proofreading.
A blonde is on holiday and she wallks into an internet cafe to send an e-mail to her mum in America.
She doesn't know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says: "Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mum?"
The guy says "Yeh, but it will cost ya"
And the blonde says "Sure i'll do anything for my mum"
The guy says: "In that case follow me"
So she follows him into the back room and he pushes her down onto her knees, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers and says: "Well go on then you said you'd do anything!"
So she picks up his dick, holds it to her mouth and says: "Hello.........mum are you there?"
Vote:
Did you hear about the blonde that stayed up all night to see where the sun went?
It finally dawned on her.
