Joke #4984

If you can't say something nice, say it in French.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

What has four legs but can't walk? A chair.
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
A patient: "Doctor, I don’t feel hungry after taking meal." Doctor: "Really, your condition is very serious. Wait a bit." (After sometime, the doctor holds out some medicines). Doctor: "Take these pills. You take one pill after your sleep and another one before you get-up."
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, drug, food, life
At the Court discussion between judge and villager: So you was propeling surrogate alcohol? Me? No! What do you mean no? You have a device for that... means propeled. Then please judge me also for rape... So you have raped someone also? Well no... but I have a device...
Vote: has 25.71 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
A Jewish guy got in a taxi cab...5 min into a ride the driver notice a man beating up a woman on the other side of the street. The driver rush to the scene. He open the door ran out as soon as he did that the Jewish guy roll down his window as fast as he can and shouted, "Stop it, stop it, stop the meter."
Vote: has 50.70 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: jewish, life, women
Why wasn't Jesus born in Tennessee? They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin...
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, life
A man walking along a road in the countryside comes across a shepherd and a huge flock of sheep. He tells to the shepherd: "I will bet you 100 € against one of your sheep that I can tell you the exact number in this flock." The shepherd thinks it over; it’s a big flock so he takes the bet. "973," says the man. The shepherd is astonished, because that is exactly right. Says "OK, I’m a man of my word, take an animal." Man picks one up and begins to walk away. "Wait," cries the shepherd, "Let me have a chance to get even. Double or nothing that I can guess your exact occupation." Man says sure. "You are an economist for a government think tank" says the shepherd. "You are exactly right!" responds the man, "but tell me, how did you deduce that?" "Well," says the shepherd, "put down the dog and I will tell you."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Customer: Give me a hot dog. Waiter: With pleasure. Customer: No, with mustard.
Vote: has 57.36 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
Did you hear about the guy they found dead with his head in his cornflakes? The police thought it was a cereal killer.
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: cop, death, food, life
A 45 year old woman had a heart attack and was immediately transported to the hospital. While she was in surgery she had a supernatural, near death experience. She met God and asked him: "Has my time come?" He answered: "No, you have 43 years, 2 months and 8 more days to live." After she recovered, the woman decided to stay in hospital and do plastic surgery on her face, liposuction, breast enlargement and abdominal fat removal. She also called a hair stylist to change her hairstyle and an orthodontist to perform a ‘teeth lifting’. She figured, if she had so much time in front of her, she should live the best way possible. After her last plastic surgery and not until she has recovered, she wore a new dress with matching heels, left the hospital, went across the street and an ambulance run over her… While crossing the gates to heaven, she reached God and demanded to know what happened: "You told me I had 43 more years! Why didn’t you save me from the ambulance?" And he answered: "I didn’t recognize you."
Vote: has 81.21 % from 78 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life
The doctor stood by the bedside of a very sick patient and said, “I cannot hide the fact that your are very ill, my man. Is there any one you would like to see?”. “Yes,” replied the patient faintly, “Another doctor”.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, health, life