Q: Why did the blonde have trouble in the ladies' room? A: She is not used to pulling her own pants down.
A blonde walks into a library and says, "Can I have a burger and fries?" The librarian says, "I'm sorry, this is a library." So the blonde whispers, "Oh sorry! can I have a diet coke then?"
Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common? A: They've both been laid all over America.
Q: Where do blondes go to meet their relatives? A: The vegetable garden.
What are the six worst years in a blonde’s life? Third grade.
Why are blondes only allowed a thirty-minute lunch break? If they took an hour it would take too long to retrain them.
A blonde gets lost in her car in a snowstorm. She remembers her father's advice, "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it." Soon a snow plow comes by, and she follows it for about 45 minutes. Finally, the driver of the truck gets out and asks her what she is doing. She explains the advice her father had given her. The driver says, "Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at the mall, now you can follow me over to the bank."
Doctor: "You look exhausted." Blond: "I am. When your nurse phoned me yesterday and told me that I have to come today for a blood test, I spent the whole night studying for it."
Two blondes were running from the cops as they had just been caught sneeking over the border into Mexico. They dashed up to a fence and climbed over it, lights and sirens running behind them. As they arrived on the other side, they came face to face with a long river. One blonde said to the other. "Here I'll shine this flashlight over the water and you can walk accross the beam of light." The other said: "What do you think I am, stupid!? I'll get halfway accross and you'll turn it off!"
Q: How can you tell a blonde's been in your fridge? A: There is lipstick on the cucumber.