Joke #2296

Q. Why is it okay for dumb blonde's to catch cold? A. They don't have to worry about blowing their brains out.
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde, health

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Blonde walks into a doctors office and says: "Doctor, what’s the problem with me? When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts... When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts... When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!" The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
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has 85.82 % from 1384 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, health
Q: How can you tell when a blonde rejects a new brain transplant? A: She sneezes.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: blonde, communication, health, stupid
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it. "Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, blonde, death, health, hospital
A young brunette goes into the doctor's office and says that her body hurts wherever she touches it. "Impossible," says the doctor. "Show me." She takes her finger and pushes her elbow and screams inagony. She pushes her knee and screams,pushes her ankle and screams and so on it goes. The doctor says, "You're not really a brunette are you?" She says, "No, I'm really a blonde." "I thought so," he says. "Your finger is broken
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has 37.27 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde, doctor, health
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor. "Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10." Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks." Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction. He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message: "Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
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has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: health, IT, medical, money, time
Q. What does a blonde do if she is not in bed by 10? A. She picks up her purse and goes home.
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has 24.92 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: blonde, time
A blonde is watching a ventriloquist perform at a bar and the ventriloquist, with his dummy, is telling blonde joke after blonde joke, filling the bar with laughter. After several of these jokes, the blonde stands up, infuriated, and yells, "Listen here, jack*ss. Not all blondes are stupid and the jokes need to stop, it is a very cheap way to get laughs." Stunned, the ventriloquist timidly begins to apologize, "Ma'am, I am so sorry. I had no idea I was offending anyone." The blonde replies, "Stay out of this, sir. I'm talking to that little sh*t on your knee!"
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: bar, blonde, stupid
Q:Why did the blonde have a triangular coffin? A:Because as soon as her head hits a pillow she spreads her legs!
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q. What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? A. Frosted Flakes.
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has 22.04 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: blonde
A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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has 37.02 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Halloween, health, kids