Joke #5034

A lady went to see a tarot reader woman who'll predict her future: Lady, I'm sorry to inform you that your husband will die in the near future. Don't tell me things that I already know, tell me if there would be an investigation!
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

If pretty women from the south are southern bells, would that make pretty women from Mexico taco bells?
Vote: has 71.40 % from 54 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, mexican, racist, women
Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties? A: Women!
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, party, stupid, women
Three women were debating about how wide their pussy are. The first one said: "When my husband makes sex he puts his penis and his testicles in my pussy." The second lady said: "Wooo when we are in bed my husband puts his hand and his arm in mine." It was the turn of the third woman that pointed to her pussy and said: Jimy; Jimy come out, please."
Vote: has 83.25 % from 208 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, sex, women
Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets. They do so within groups of 40.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, science, women
Andrew went to Medical Insurance to apply for his pension. The woman behind the bench asked for his driving license to verify his age, but he had left his wallet home. He said to her that he had to go home and return later. The woman said: "Unbuckle your shirt." And so he did, revealing his curly, gray hair of his chest. "These gray hair is quite a nice proof for me," she said and continued with his application form. When Andrew went home, he said to his wife what had happened. "You should have taken your pants off," she said, "Maybe you would have taken disability pension too!"
Vote: has 51.54 % from 79 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, marriage, money, wife, women
A man in his mid forties bought a new BMW and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive. The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to see what the engine had. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him. “There’s no way they can catch a BMW,” he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, then 100, and finally reality hit him and he knew he shouldn’t run from the police, so he slowed down and pulled over. The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car. “It’s been a long day, this is the end of my shift and it’s Friday the 13th. I don’t feel like more paperwork, so if you can give me an excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.” The guy thinks for a second and says, “Last week my wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back.” “Have a nice weekend,” said the officer and he walked away.
Vote: has 85.07 % from 591 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, wife, women
At a Whitehouse party for past presidents. Michelle Obama caught Barron Trump making faces at Sasha. Michelle walked over to reprimand the child and said, "Barron, when I was a little girl, I was told if that I made ugly faces, it would freeze and I would stay like that." Baron looked up and replied, "Well, Ms. Obama, you can't say you weren't warned."
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, mean, political, ugly, women
The girl says to the guy; "Honest to God, tell me what you think... Can anyone love me?" "Yeah, for sure..." "And then... What are you waiting for...?"
Vote: has 47.37 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, love, women
Doctor: "Tell your wife not to worry about the slight deafness. It is only an indication of old age." Husband: "Doctor, would you yourself please tell this to her?"
Vote: has 52.49 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, husband, wife, women
Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
Vote: has 71.43 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, men, women