Joke #5034

A lady went to see a tarot reader woman who'll predict her future: Lady, I'm sorry to inform you that your husband will die in the near future. Don't tell me things that I already know, tell me if there would be an investigation!
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

Doctor: "Tell your wife not to worry about the slight deafness. It is only an indication of old age." Husband: "Doctor, would you yourself please tell this to her?"
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, husband, wife, women
Why are all jokes about women one-liners? So men can understand them.
Vote: has 54.45 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, men, women
When Adam asked Eve out for dinner she replied: "Oh I'd love to, but I haven't a thing to wear."
Vote: has 52.49 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, love, women
Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, terrorist, women
The proprietor of an adult store steps out to run a few errands and leaves his employee in charge. A woman comes in and wants to purchase a dildo. She looks at the shelf behind the register. "How much for the white one?" "$10." "How much for the black one?" "$20." She buys the white one. A little later , another woman comes in and also wants to buy a dildo. After asking the clerk for prices, she decides on the black one. A third lady comes in for a dildo. She checks the price of the white one , the black one and asks about the plaid one. She makes her purchase and leaves.The proprietor returns and asks how things went. "Great! I sold a white one, a black one, and I got thirty buck for your thermos!"
Vote: has 62.50 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, money, women
Question: Why do women have smaller feet than men? Answer: So they can stand closer to the kitchen sink.
Vote: has 50.96 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this she can’t stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against him. The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: “What’s threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?” The woman replies: “It’s Frank, the midget.”
Vote: has 79.62 % from 334 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, sex, women, work
Q: Why don't women wear watches? A: There's a clock on the stove!
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: time, women
Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow? A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, women
An elderly woman went to her doctor, complaining about not being able to hear out of one ear. The doctor then took his penlight, looked in her ear, then took his tweezers, reached in, and pulled something out. After examining the object for a second, he exclaimed, "Well...it seems you inserted a suppository into your ear...". The old lady thought for a second, then responded "Gee...I guess that explains why I can't find my hearing-aid...!".
Vote: has 78.59 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, old people, women