Joke #2737

What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down? Kick her where the sun don't shine.

I like my women the same as I like my whiskey ... 20 years old and mixed up with coke !

Q: What was the first word out of Adam's mouth when he first saw Eve? A: Whoa man! Thus, the word "woman" was created.

Walking home after a girls' night out, two women pass a graveyard and stop to pee. The first woman has nothing to wipe with, so she uses her underwear and tosses it. Her friend, however, finds a ribbon on a wreath, so she uses that. The next day, the first woman's husband phones the second woman's husband, furious: "My wife came home last night without her panties!" "That's nothing," says the other. "Mine came back with a card stuck between her butt cheeks that said, 'From all of us at the fire station, we'll never forget you.'"

A Lady calls the airline office in New York and asks, "How long does it take to fly to Hawaii?" The clerk says to her, "Just a second." The woman says "Thank you", and hangs up.

A paralegal, an associate, and a partner of a prestigious law firm are walking through a city park and they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out in a puff of smoke. The Genie says, "I usually only grant three wishes, so I'll give each of you one." "Me first!" says the paralegal. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat with Tom Cruise." Poof! She's gone. "Me next!" says the associate. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with a professional hula dancer on one side and a Mai Tai on the other." Poof! He's gone. "You're next," the Genie says to the partner. The partner says: "I want those two back in the office after lunch."

A man came home from the bar with an unknown woman. He woke up in the morning and yelled, "A crocodile, a crocodile!" The woman woke up and asked, "Where, where?" A man cried again, "O-o-oh, the crocodile is talking!"

How many women does it take to change a light bulb? 11 - 10 to form a committee and 1 to get her boyfriend to do it...

A nice lady in a short skirt walks up to a police man on the street and says, "I have a problem." The police man asked her what it is, she points to a man across the street and says, "See that man?" The police man replies, "Yes, is he watching you?" She replies, " NO!, that is the problem!"

Look up "rib" in the dictionary and it says "To vex, irritate or annoy." Look up "rib" in the Bible and it says "Woman." Coincidence?

I pray for: Wisdom, To understand a man. Love, To forgive him and; Patience, For his moods. Because if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death.