Joke #2737

What do you do if your dishwasher breaks down? Kick her where the sun don't shine.

Q. How are fat girls and mopeds alike? A. They are fun to ride but you don't want your friends to find out.

Question: Why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up women? Answer: Because a woman who can’t even afford a washing machine will never be able to support you.

How many divorced Women does it take to screw in a light bulb? 4,1 to screw in the bulb, 3 to form a support group.

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette all enter the International Breast Stroke Swim across the English Channel. After about 8 hours, the brunette makes it across, followed shortly by the redhead. No sign of the blonde. After 12 hours they decide they'd better go look for her when she pretty much washes up on shore. They rush over to her and wrap her in warm blankets and give her a hot drink. After a few minutes, she is breathing easier and says, "I don't like to tattle, but I think those other ladies were using their arms!"

A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby doctor? What's wrong?" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite." The woman is confused. "A hermaphrodite..... what's that?" The doctor replies, "Well, it means your baby has the.......er......features....of a male and a female." The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh MY GOD! you mean it has a penis..... AND a brain.

Why is it called PMS? — Because “Mad Cow Disease” was already taken.

Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"

Question: What do women and Slinkies have in common? Answer: Not really too much, but you can’t help but crack a smile when one tumbles down the stairs.

Question: What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a pit bull? Answer: Lipstick.

When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.