Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they can divide sin and cosine to get a tan!
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There was a blonde who was at an all blonde football game.
At halftime she was called down to answer questions to see if she could win $1000.
The first question was what is 10 plus 11?
She hesitates and says, "hm.. 5!"
The host says "No, I'm sorry thats incorrect."
All of the blondes in the stadium chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance!"
So the host agrees and said, "Ok how about 5 plus 5."
She answers and says "20".
Again all the blondes chanted "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
So the host agrees again and says, "OK, last chance, what is 2 plus 2."
The blonde says "4!" and the audience says "Give her another chance give her another chance!"
What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?
Beer.
What did one math book say to the other math book?
"I don't know about you man, but I got a lot of problems!"
Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Three statisticians go out hunting together.
After a while they spot a solitary rabbit.
The first statistician takes aim and overshoots.
The second aims and undershoots.
The third shouts out "We got him!"
Maths and Girls are the most complicated things, but Maths at least has some logic.
"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague.
"Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."
How the children from Chernobil count from one to hundred?
On the fingers!
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
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"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?"
"She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me."
"I don't believe that she cheated on you!"
"Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."
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