Joke #5048

Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach? A: Because they can divide sin and cosine to get a tan!
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has 64.09 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: math

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A college math professor and his wife are both 60 years old. One evening the wife comes home and finds a note from her husband. It says: "My dear, now that you are 60 years old, there are some things you no longer do for me. I am at the Holiday Inn with my 20-year-old student. Don't bother waiting up for me." He returns home late that night to find a note from his wife: "You, my dear, are also 60 years old and there are also things I need that you're not giving me. So, I am at the Motel 6 with one of your 20-year-old students. Being a math professor, I'm sure you know that 20 goes into 60 way more than 60 goes into 20. So, don't YOU wait up for ME."
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has 54.49 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: age, college, marriage, math, wife
I stopped understanding math when the alphabet decided to get involved.
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has 72.79 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: math, mean, school
Q: What does the zero say to the the eight? A: Nice belt!
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has 55.16 % from 86 votes. More jokes about: math
Chuck Norris drew a triangle with four sides.
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has 44.56 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
Teacher: "Who knows 5+5=?" Little Johnny: "11" Teacher: "Take out your hand from trousers pocket and count with your fingers."
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has 68.53 % from 189 votes. More jokes about: dirty, little Johnny, math, stupid, teacher
A mathematician and his best friend, an engineer, attend a public lecture on geometry in thirteen-dimensional space. "How did you like it?" the mathematician wants to know after the talk. "My head's spinning," the engineer confesses. "How can you develop any intuition for thirteen-dimensional space?" "Well, it's not even difficult. All I do is visualize the situation in n-dimensional space and then set n = 13."
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has 47.63 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: math
A team of engineers were required to measure the height of a flag pole. They only had a measuring tape, and were getting quite frustrated trying to keep the tape along the pole. It kept falling down, etc. A mathematician comes along, finds out their problem, and proceeds to remove the pole from the ground and measure it easily. When he leaves, one engineer says to the other: "Just like a mathematician! We need to know the height, and he gives us the length!"
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has 75.43 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: math
Q: Do you know why infinity goes on forever? A: Because it knows Chuck Norris is waiting for it at the end.
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has 36.52 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, math
The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”. He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”. She said, ” Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”. He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”. She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers. Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”. He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.
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has 77.77 % from 335 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, math, teacher, time
The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers. "Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me." "Can you tell me what comes after three?" "Four," answers little Johnny. "What comes after six?" "Seven," answers little Johnny. "Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job. What comes after ten?" "A jack," answers little Johnny.
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has 80.80 % from 648 votes. More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, math, teacher