Q:Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
A:Because you can't drink and derive...
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Sex is like math:
Add the bed
Subtract the clothes
Divide the legs and pray you dont multiply
Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
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Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
Vote:
Do you like maths?
If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
Teacher: "How much is half of 8?"
Little Johnny: "Up and down or across?"
Teacher: "What do you mean?"
Little Johnny: "Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!"
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...and then the devil said, "Let's put the alphabet into mathematics."
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator?
A: The blonde works in the dark!
Vote:
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
A girl came skipping home from school one day.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10.
See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!"
"Very good," said her mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?"
"Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied.
The next day, the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G.
See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde."
The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
"Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!"
And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.
"Very good," said her embarrassed mother.
"Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, it's because you're 25."