Q:Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
A:Because you can't drink and derive...
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Only Chuck Norris knows a bigger number than infinity, and it's not infinite plus one.
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Infinity mathematicians came to bar.
First one ordered 1 glass of beer, second a half, third a quarter...
The barman interrupted them: "Assholes, here are 2 beers!"
Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: On average or do you want the whole distribution?
Teacher: "If you bought 8 hotdogs,9 cheese burgers and 7 fillet o fishes and you ate 8 hotdogs 9 cheese burger and 7 fillet o fish what do you have at the end?"
Little Johnny: "A bad blatter issue."
"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague.
"Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero..."
Chuck Norris can cross all Seven Bridges of Konigsberg, making all the current laws of Math, obsolete.
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Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?
A: Nice belt!
Q:What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
A:A high school math problem!
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?"
Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!"
The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests.
"Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.