Q: Did you hear that joke about the infinite line?
A: Don’t worry, It doesn’t have a point!
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Q: What did the constipated mathematician do?
A: He worked it out with a pencil!
Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
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Little Johnny was heard by his mother reciting his homework: "Two plus two, the son of a bitch is four; four plus four, the son of a bitch is eight; eight plus eight, the son of a bitch!"
Johnny shouted his mother "Watch your language! You're not allowed to use the swearwords."
But, Mom, replied the boy, "That's what the teacher taught us, and she said to recite it out loud till we learned it."
Next day Johnny's mother went right into the classroom to complain.
"Oh, heavens" said the teacher. "That's not what I taught them. They're supposed to say, 'Two plus two, the sum of which is four."
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Q: Why can't atheists solve exponential equations?
A: Because they don't believe in higher powers.
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?"
"None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away."
"Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."
Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"
"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."
"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."
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E=mc squared.
E multiplied by mc squared=Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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Student: What’s infinity?
Math Teacher: Think of a number.
Student: Okay, I’ve got one.
Teacher: Good. That’s not it.
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
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