Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Pornhub is Down, your mums Facebook will do.
Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter? When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner? No? Me neither.
Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.
A client calls to hotline of internet service provider: "I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now..." "I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC?" "Of course, I do - it's Facebook..."
Yo momma is so fat, I took a picture of her last Christmas and its still printing.
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define "Great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.