Whoever said technology will replace paper has obviously never tried to wipe their butt with an iPad.
You know, I have Google+, Facebook, Twitter, Skype accounts... Man, and do you have life? OMG, No! Could you send me a link?
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.
Facebook had a dislike button, then Chuck Norris joined. Nobody dislikes Chuck Norris.
Roses are red, violets are blue. Pornhub is Down, your mums Facebook will do.
Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter? When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner? No? Me neither.
Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.
A client calls to hotline of internet service provider: "I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now..." "I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC?" "Of course, I do - it's Facebook..."
When Chuck Norris pokes you on Facebook, you die.
I love the lines the men use to get us into bed: "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute." What am I...? A microwave?