A Man from the toilet shouts to his wife : Darling, darling, do you hear me?!!!! What happened, did you run out of toilet paper? No, restart the router, please!
A wife send her husband an sms on a cold winter evening: "Windows frozen". The husband send answer back: "Pour some warm water over them". Some time later husband receives answer from his wife: "The computer is completely fucked now".
After 5 hours sitting in the bar, a man was in no shape to drive, wisely left his car parked and walked home. As he was walking unsteadily along, he was stopped by a policeman. "What are you doing out here at 2 am?", said the officer. "I'm going to a lecture.", the man said. And who is going to give a lecture at this hour?", the cop asked. "My wife!!!" said the man.
Why did the lumberjack get nowhere with the internet? He kept logging on and off.
Egotistical Harry was always reminding people that he played semi-pro baseball. "I was the James Bond type of player," he told his friends. "I had all sorts of tricks to confuse the opposition." "Batted .007," his wife added.
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A wife tells her husband while watching a Mexican TV series: "Look, how much he loves her…" "Yes. But do you know how much he's being paid for that?"
Linux is like wigwam: no Gates, no Windows and Apache inside.
Why was the IT support worker bad-tempered? Because he had a chip on his shoulder.
If you type Chuck Norris into Microsoft Word, the little paper-clip just hangs himself.
A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want to do.