There are 10 types of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.
Programming is like sex. One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
Linux is like wigwam: no Gates, no Windows and Apache inside.
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends' food looked like.
Q: What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave A: A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
Outgoing e-mails have tobacco stains on them.
When Chuck Norris surfs the Internet, he actually surfs on a virtual wave of 1's and 0's.
The ladies say I'm like Usain Bolt in the bedroom... I usually wear a yellow and green vest.
Good girls go to bed at 8 p.m., since they need to be home by 11 p.m.
UNIX is basically a simple operating system, but you have to be a genius to understand the simplicity.