There are 10 types of people in the world.
Those who understand binary and those who have regular sex.
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Programming is like sex.
One mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity?
A: Osama Bin Laiden.
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Q: How can you tell a blonde's been using the computer?
A: There's white-out all over the screen.
Computers are like air conditioners.
They work fine until you start opening windows.
Three prisoners are locked in a cell.
One takes out a harmonica and says, ‘At least I can play a little music and pass the time.’
The second prisoner pull out a pack of cards and says, ‘We can play games too.’
The third man pulls out a packet of tampons.
‘Those aren’t much use,’ says the first prisoner.
‘Yes they are,’ says the third prisoner.
‘On the packet it says we can use them to swim, play tennis and ski.’
If you put a million monkeys at a million keyboards, one of them will eventually write a Java program.
The rest of them will write Perl programs.
Q: What do you call a Republican politician who hasn't been connected to a gay sex scandal?
A: Due.
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A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town.
They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.
“I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I’m actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex.”
The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing.
After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver’s seat looking out the window.
“Why aren’t we going anywhere?” asked the girl.
“Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I’m actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…”
1998: Don't get in the car with strangers.
2008: Don't meet people from the internet.
2018: Order yourself a stranger to get in the car with from the internet. (Uber)
Only Chuck Norris can dislike on Facebook.
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