A family went to a nudist camp for their vacation.
The young son came back to the tent and said, "Wow, Mom! You should see some of those girls. They've got these HUGE..."
"Yes, well," his mother sniffs. "The larger they are, the dumber the woman."
Next day the boy comes back to the tent again. "You wouldn't believe some of the guys out there. They have these HUGE..."
"Yes, well, like I said, the bigger they are, the dumber the man."
"Really?" the boy said, frowning with puzzlement. "We might be in trouble, Mom."
"Why, honey?"
"Because Dad's out there talking to a really stupid girl, and he's getting dumber by the minute."
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Q. Why do men name their penises?
A. Because they don't want ninety per cent of their decisions made by a perfect stranger.
Q: Why shouldn't Men using iron supplements take Viagra?
A: It may cause them to spin around and point north.
(A) You are not Tom Cruise,
(B) The guns may stop working at the last moment,
(C) The Enemy is 1000 times intelligent than you,
(D) Your family might not like the amount of compensation on your behalf
(E) Just remember, "the safest way to win over your enemies is by making them your friends!"
Q: Why do men fart louder than women?
A: because they have a microphone and two speakers.
Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week?
Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".
Q: How many men does it take to open a beer?
A: None, it better be open when she brings it to you.
Husband says: "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me".
Wife replied: "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
Q: Why do liberals travel in threes?
A: One to read, one to write and the other one to keep an eye on both intellectuals.
Three men were at a bar discussing coincidences.
The first man said, "My wife was reading A Tale of Two Cities and she gave birth to twins."
"That’s funny," the second man remarked, "My wife was reading The Three Musketeers and she gave birth to triplets."
The third man shouted, "Oh my, I have to rush home!"
When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!"