Joke #5618

Three men were at a bar discussing coincidences. The first man said, "My wife was reading A Tale of Two Cities and she gave birth to twins." "That’s funny," the second man remarked, "My wife was reading The Three Musketeers and she gave birth to triplets." The third man shouted, "Oh my, I have to rush home!" When asked what the problem was, he exclaimed, "When I left the house, my wife was reading Ali Baba and the Forty Thieves!"
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I was sitting in the waiting room of the hospital after my wife had gone into labour and the nurse walked out and said to the man sitting next to me, "Congratulations sir, you’re the new father of twins!" The man replied, "How about that, I work for the Doublemint Chewing Gum Company." The man then followed the woman to his wife’s room. About an hour later, the same nurse entered the waiting room and announced that Mr. Smith’s wife has just had triplets. Mr. Smith stood up and said, "Well, how do ya like that, I work for the 3M Company." The gentleman that was sitting next to me then got up and started to leave. When I asked him why he was leaving, he remarked, "I think I need a breath of fresh air." The man continued, "I work for 7-UP."
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How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male? All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
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Why do men want to vote for a female President? Because we'd only have to pay her half as much.
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Q: Why are there only snow men and not snow women? A: Because only men are dumb enough to stand out in the snow without a coat.
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Men are like buses. They have spare tires and smell funny.
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Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
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How do you get a man to stop biting his nails? Make him wear shoes.
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What do you call a handcuffed man? Trustworthy.
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Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A:None, the sockets go with the house.
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Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing their graduation gowns. "Are you graduates from the city university?" asked the cab driver. "Yes, sir," they announced proudly. "Class of "99." The cabbie extended his hand. "Class of "67."
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