What do you call a baby on a stick?
A Kebabie.
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An old couple is at a fair an the old man sees a helicopter ride for $50.
The old man asks his wife, "I don't have much time left. Can I take I ride in one of them helicopters?"
His wife responds, "Oh well that's way too expensive."
The man running the helicopter rides as a pilot hears their conversation and makes them a deal.
"Hey, I'll take you on a ride for free, but you can't make one sound. If you do, then you have to pay $50." says the pilot.
The couple climbs in the helicopter.
The pilot takes off and does awesome tricks with the helicopter.
The couple never made a sound.
The pilot lands the helicopter and says, "Wow, impressive, usually people make so much noise on these rides."
The old man says, "Well, I almost made a noise when my wife fell out of the helicopter, but these rides are too expensive."
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Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: With a knife.
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Q: What was Hitler's favorite toy as a kid?
A: An Easy-Bake Oven.
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My Girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess for her birthday.
So I took her out, got her drunk, and crashed the car.
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Q: How do you get a Jew to win a race?
A: Drop a quarter at the finish line.
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Why do Mexicans eat beans for dinner?
So they can take bubble baths.
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Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones?
Because they're hand made.
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W: Where did Lucy go during the bombing?
A: Everywhere.
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Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other?
A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
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Did you hear about the male prostitute who got leprosy?
He did okay until his business fell off.
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