What do you call a baby on a stick?
A Kebabie.
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They say that if I don't support transgender rights I'm on the wrong side of history.
At least I'm on the right side of the firing squad.
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Q: What did one casket say to the sick casket?
A: Is that you coughin'?
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What's black and red, wears high top Reeboks and cant go through a revolving door?
A nigger with a spear through his head.
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My Girlfriend wanted me to treat her like a princess for her birthday.
So I took her out, got her drunk, and crashed the car.
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What has more brains than a dead baby?
The wall behind it.
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A woman is speaking to her friend, ‘My husband has got one foot in the grate.’
‘Don’t you mean one foot in the “grave”?’ says the friend.
‘No,’ replies the woman.
‘He wants to be cremated.’
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How do you get a baby to run faster?
Chase it with the lawn mower.
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I took my grandma to a fish spa center where the little fish eat your dead skin for only $45.
It was way cheaper than having her buried in the cemetery.
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Q: What has 2 arms, 3 legs, and 4 feet?
A: The finish line at the Boston Marathon.
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Today was a terrible day.
My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
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