Joke #5147

What do you call a baby on a stick? A Kebabie.

Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!

I was a little taken aback when I got my receipt from the funeral parlor, on the bottom of the receipt, after the bill, it read, "Thank you. Please come again."

Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's? He always burns the franks.

Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: Getting her out of the wheelchair.

A doctor from the inner city was conversing with an old friend from med school at a cafe when he said, "Man, can I tell you something?" His friend nods. "Sure." "Okay, so the other day I had this one really hot, foreign patient, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about her since..." He goes on to tell his friend everything about her, from her long blond hair and ability to speak fluent French, to her shimmering blue eyes and soft skin. His friend seemed more disgusted with each passing moment. "Dude, that is not cool." The doctor, indignant, defended himself. "What's wrong with that? Lots of doctors are attracted to their patients." His friend simply shook his head and replied, "Maybe, but I guarantee you none of those doctors were pediatricians..."

Why was the cannibal fined by the judge? He was caught poaching.

Q: What do you call an afghan virgin A: Never bin laid on.

The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex. But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"

They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.