I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
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After my wife died, I couldn't even look at another woman for 10 years.
But now that I'm out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!
What did the cannibal say when he was full?
I couldn't eat another mortal.
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A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday."
Well, you can imagine her disappointment.
The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything.
She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?"
He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"
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Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car.
It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
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What is the difference between turkey and mother-in-law?
There is no difference: both are the best when they are cold on the table.
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I just ended a long-term relationship today.
I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine.
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Why did Beyonce sing 'to the left', 'to the left'?
Because black people have no rights...
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Q: What do you call a Jew with a mental disability?
A: Auschwitztic.
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Who's the most famous Jewish cook in history?
Hitler.
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So an old man, a Catholic priest, and a pedophile walk into a bar, and that's just one person!
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