I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
Anyone want to try the ALS gas bucket challenge HMU.
If you want to feed an injured woodpecker, take it by the tail and hit it to the tree.
*Wakes up to wife and son screaming* Me: "What are you guys yelling about?" Them: "You're driving!"
Knock, knock Who's there? I'm Mr, Farter. Mr, Farter who? I've brought some insecticides to give to your mother in law!
Q: What did one female terrorist say to the other? A: "Does my bomb look big in this?"
A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear. No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield. A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back. The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?" The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler." "I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield." The general said, "Drive on!" The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker." The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!" The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the driver?"
Q: Why did Humpty Dumpty push his girlfriend on the wall? A: To see her crack.
What goes: "Click-is that it? Click-is that it? Click-is that it?" A blind person with a rubix cube.
Chuck Norris was hungry so he went to eat a hotdog. When he saw it giggled and said: "What a bad luck! Look what a part of a dog I've to eat!"
Europe to Iceland: Why did you send us volcanic ash? Our airspace has shut down. Iceland: What? That's what you asked for isn't it? Europe: NO! We said cash! CASH! Iceland: Woooops...