I love blacks. It's a pitty they are not being traded anymore...
Yesterday I accidentally hit a little kid with my car. It wasn't serious — nobody saw me.
What do you call of 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor.
I had a mate who was suicidal. He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train. He was chuffed to bits.
The best thing about Alzheimer's Disease is that you get to meet so many new people.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a Styrofoam cup? A dead baby doesn't harm the atmosphere when you burn it.
There are 3 men on a plane a Mexican an American and a Russian the Mexican says "I hate my country!" And throughs a soup out the window the American says "I hate my country" and throughs a pie out the window. The Russian says "I hate my country!" And throughs a bomb out the window. Then the plane lands and the Mexican sees a kid crying the Mexican says "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "a soup fell on my mom's head and she burnt to death." "I didn't do that" says the Mexican. The American was walking and saw a kid crying "what's wrong kid?" The kid says "my mom was driving and a pie fell on her windshield and drove off a cliff cause she couldn't see!" "I didn't do that" says the American. Then the Russian gets off the plane and saw a kid laughing his head off. The Russian says "what's so funny?" The kid says " daddy farted and the house went BOOM BOOM!"
Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's? He always burns the franks.
Are you lost, ma'am? Because Heaven's a long way from here.
What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it? The AIDS team.