How are babies and the elderly alike?
Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.
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Similar jokes
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Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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And these kids do not deserve a present from me, because they have not been eating well this year, - said Santa Claus, flying over the starving kids in Sudan.
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Me: "Here comes the airplane!"
Baby: Opens mouth.
Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
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Q: Why are jelly beans alot like the world?
A: Because everyone hates the black ones.
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A woman visits the doctor as she has some abdominal pains and suspects she may be pregnant.
After her examination, the doctor comes out to see her: "Well, I hope you like changing nappies/diapers".
She replies: "Oh my god am I pregnant, am I pregnant!?"
To which he responds: "No, you've got bowel cancer."
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Q: How long does it take for a workplace bully to come up with a patentable new invention?
A: It depends: If the designer's desk drawer is locked, about 5 minutes, otherwise, under a minute.
Two clones are on a roof.
One clone pushes the other clone off.
The next day the police arrest him for making an obscene clone fall.
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A beautiful young girl is about to undergo a minor operation.
She’s laid on a hospital trolley bed with nothing on, except a sheet over her.
The nurse pushes the trolley down the corridor towards the operating theatre, where she leaves the girl on the trolley outside, while she goes in to check whether everything is ready.
A young man wearing a white coat approaches, lifts the sheet up and starts examining her naked body.
He puts the sheet back and then walks away and talks to another man in a white coat.
The second man comes over, lifts the sheet and does the same examinations.
When a third man does the same thing, but more closely, she grows impatient and says: “All these examinations are fine and appreciated, but when are you going to start the operation?”
The man in the white coat shrugged his shoulders: “I have no idea. We’re just painting the corridor.”
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The cannibal priest told his flock to close their eyes and say grace.
"For whosoever we are about to eat, may the Lord make us truly thankful."
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Why did the cannibal eat the tightrope walker?
He wanted a balanced meal.
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