How are babies and the elderly alike?
Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.
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Dr. Dave had sex with one of his patients and felt guilty all day long.
No matter how much he tried to forget about it he just couldn't.
The guilt was overwhelming.
But every once in a while he would hear in internal, reassuring voice in his head that said: "Dave don't worry about it. You aren't the first medical practitioner to have sex with one of his patients and you won't be the last. Just let It go Dave."
But invariably another voice in his head would bring him back to reality whispering: "Dave... Daaaave... you're a veterinarian you sick bastard!"
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My wife and I have reached a decision that we do not want children.
If anybody does please just send me your contact details and we can drop them off tomorrow.
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Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine.
I guess that was why several of us died of tuberculosis.
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Q: What's the difference between Auschwitz and Sarajevo?
A: At least they had gas in Auschwitz.
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My previous girlfriend had this weird sleeping disorder - in the middle of every night she would wake up and suck my dick.
No wonder her dad did not want her to move out.
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How do you blindfold an Asian?
With dental floss!
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Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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Awwww, kids. They blow up so fast...
Get it, kids grow up so fast.
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What is the difference between a hippie girl and a muslim girl?
The hippie girl gets stoned before have sex.
Q: Why does Dr. Pepper come in bottles?
A: Because his wife died.
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