Joke #5879

My wife and I had been debating whether it was time to start a family when we saw a couple of cute kids, splashing and giggling in a paddling pool. I looked at her and said, "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?" She smiled and said, "Yes, Gary..." "That settles it, then," I replied. "We can't raise children if we're both paedos."

Why was the cannibal fined by the judge? He was caught poaching.

An Arabic kid joined my football team. All he did was blow the plays.

Why is Hitler never invited to BBQ's? He always burns the franks.

A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.

How do you make a dead baby float? Take your foot off of it’s head.

Q: What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve? A: I haven't seen you for a year!

Q: What is height of Suicide? A: A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.

What does a skeleton say when he wants to eat? Bone appetit!

"I'm going to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage. But it is just a formality." "Who told you that?" "Gynecologist."

How do you prepare a dead baby for Valentine's Day? You shove a box of chocolates down his throat and a bouquet of roses up his ass.