How many dead babies can fit in a barrel?
4 1/2.
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Q: What can popsicles do that men can't?
A: Come in five flavors.
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Two girls take a walk on a hot summer day.
They see an old lady sitting in front of her house eating watermelon.
They notice she isn't wearing any panties.
"Is it cooler without panties?" they ask.
She says, "I don't know if it's cooler, but it sure keeps the flies off the watermelon."
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Q: Whats the height of desperation?
A: A vampire sucking blood from a sanitary napkin.
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Jeremy and Kris walk down the street and see a dog licking himself.
Jeremy says, "Man, I wish I could do that!"
Kris replies, "I think you'd have to pet him first."
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A doctor complains to his colleagues about the sanitary problems at a latex glove factory in Mexico.
"Workers stick their hands in melted latex and then dip their hands in a vat of cooling water to solidify the latex. The glove is then thrown in a finished products box."
His colleagues are disgusted by the lack of care taken in keeping the gloves sanitary.
"That's not all," says the doctor.
"You don't even want to know how they make their condoms!"
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A woman finds out that her husband is cheating on her, so she decides to leave him a present.
When he gets home, he finds an empty house, a bowl of cookies, and a video.
He scarfs down the cookies, and pops in the video.
On TV, he sees his wife sucking his best friend's d**k.
He comes in her mouth, and she immediately spits the jizz into a bowl of cookie dough.
Then she turns to the camera.
"Oh, hello, I want a divorce."
What do you get when you eat a prune pizza?
Pizzeria!
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Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.
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Q: How can you tell if you're in a gay church?
A: Only half the congregation is kneeling.
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What's grosser than gross?
Two Siamese twins connected at the tongue.
What's even grosser than that?
When one of them throws up.
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