Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his boyfriend?
A: He wiped.
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Q: What is worse than waking up the morning after an orgy with pubic hair in your teeth?
A: Waking up with a lump in your throat and a string hanging out of your mouth.
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Five men and one woman wash up on a desert island after a shipwreck.
Before long they are all getting pretty horny so they all make a deal.
Each man will marry the woman for one week at a time, at which point the next man in line will marry her and so on.
All the men get sex every five weeks and the woman gets sex as often as she wants with a different man each week.
The situation works wonderfully for five years.
When the woman suddenly dies...
The first week after wasn't too bad.
The second week was geting sort of bad.
The third week was getting pretty bad.
The fourth week was really bad.
The fifth week was horrible!
By the sixth week it was unbearable... so they buried her.
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Q: How can you tell if you have an overbite?
A: When you're eating p**sy and it tastes like sh*t.
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What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body?
My dick.
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What do you call an abortion in Czechslovakia?
A cancelled Czech!
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Q: What's red, sits in front of a mirror, and gets smaller and smaller?
A: A vain idiot combing his hair with a potato peeler.
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What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday?
A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.
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A young, innocent couple goes on their honeymoon.
They get naked and jump into bed, but neither knows what to do.
Eventually, they decide to rub their noses together.
After awhile, they decide to rub their toes together.
Finally, they begin to rub their hips together.
Suddenly, the man jumps up and runs to the bathroom.
After several minutes, he returns to the bedroom, looking scared.
"What happened?" asks his bride.
"I don't know," he replies, "but something curdled my urine!"
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Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters?
The bull must have drug him a mile!
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Why are a sorority girl and a tampon similar?
They are both stuck up cunts.
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