Joke #7507

Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his boyfriend? A: He wiped.
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A guy sees a classified ad that says "Will give Blow Job while singing the Star Spangled Banner at the same time." The guys thinks to himself that it sounds interesting and unbelievable, and so decides to pay her a visit. She lets him in and says that the lights have to be off. So she turns the light off and starts sucking his dick. All of a sudden he hears the Star Spangled Banner, clear as day. He really wants to know how she is doing this so he flips on the lights. All he sees on the floor is a glass eye.
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, music
What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.
Vote: has 16.63 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, disgusting, dog
What's grosser than gross? Two vampires fighting over a bloody tampon. What's grosser than that? Finding a used condom on the bottom of a mayonnaise jar. What's grosser than that? When you open the refigerator and the rump rost farts in your face. You want to know what's grosser than that? When you sit on your grandpa's lap and he pops a boner. But the one thing that is grosser than that is when you are siting on your grandma's lap and she pops a boner.
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

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I have a green nose, three red mouths, and four purple ears. What am I? Ugly!
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, ugly
After nine years of marriage, a butcher's wife is tired of her husband's morning flatulence. She warns him that he'll fart his guts out. One night, the wife decides to put pig scraps in his pants, so he will think that he actually farted his guts out and stop the flatulence. The next morning, the husband goes to the bathroom. Two long hours later, he comes out and says, "You were right about me farting my guts out. But with the grace of the dear Lord and these two fingers. I got them back in there!"
Vote: has 70.18 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, husband, marriage, wife
Boy Monster: Did you get the big red heart I sent you for Valentine's? Girl Monster: Yes, I did. Thank you. Boy Monster: Is it still beating?
Vote: has 29.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, Valentines day
An almost blind guy walked into a sexy lingerie shop to purchase their most see-through item for his wife. After receiving some help from the store clerk, he bought a lace teddy for $600 and brought it home for his wife to try on. She took it upstairs and realized that it didn't quite fit. But, she figured, since it's supposed to be see-through and since he's almost blind, she might as well wear nothing at all. So she came downstairs completely naked. "Huh," said the old man, hugging her. "For the amount I paid, they could've at least ironed the damn thing."
Vote: has 78.41 % from 128 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: disgusting, money, wife
Two cannibals are eating dinner and one says, "I hate my mother-in-law." The other replies, "Well, just eat your noodles, then."
Vote: has 66.71 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?  "Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, blonde, disgusting, lawyer