Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his boyfriend?
A: He wiped.
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At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets.
A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement."
Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies.
"The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter.
"That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands."
The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?"
The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
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How do you make stew out of a leper?
Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.
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Friend 1: "I like my women how I like my milk."
Friend 2: "What? White?"
Friend 1: "No, expired."
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Joke has 52.81 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: communication, disgusting, friendship, white people, wife
How many dead babies can fit in a barrel?
4 1/2.
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I see, said the blind man, peeing into the wind.
It's all coming back to me now.
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Q: How do you embarrass an archaeologist?
A: Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it came from
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On the last day of kindergarten, all the children brought presents for their teacher.
The florist's son handed the teacher a gift.
She shook it, held it up and said, "I bet I know what it is - it's some flowers!"
"That's right!" shouted the little boy.
Then the candy store owner's daughter handed the teacher a gift.
She held it up, shook it and said. "I bet I know what it is - it's a box of candy!"
"That's right!" shouted the little girl.
The next gift was from the liquor store owner's son, Little Johnny.
The teacher held it up and saw that it was leaking.
She touched a drop with her finger and tasted it.
"Is it wine?" she asked. "No," Little Johnny answered.
The teacher touched another drop to her tongue.
"Is it champagne?" she asked.
"No," he answered.
Finally, the teacher said, "I give up. What is it?"
Little Johnny replied, "A puppy!"
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At a rally John McCain was asked if he wore boxers or briefs.
He replied, "Depends."
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Did you here about the man that died from eating Rocky Mountain Oysters?
The bull must have drug him a mile!
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Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea?
A: He drowned in his own tea pe
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