Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his boyfriend?
A: He wiped.
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Similar jokes
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Q: What do you call a Shih-Tzu mixed with a poodle?
A: A Shih-Tzpoo.
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An eagle swoops down from the sky and eats a mouse.
Three hours later, while the eagle is flying, the mouse sticks its head out of the eagle's butt and asks, "How high up are we?"
"About 2,000 feet," the eagle replies.
The mouse replies, "You ain't sh*ttin' me, are you?"
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That moment when you notice that one fork isn't really very clean when you're laying the table and you have to decide which family member you like the least.
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A married couple go to a restaurant.
A blonde waitress takes their order and returns several minutes later, carrying a plate with only a plain hamburger bun on it.
The man asks, "Where's the burger?"
The waitress lifts her arm and pulls out a burger from her armpit.
"I was keeping it warm," she replies.
The wife says, "Please cancel my hot dog order."
Three little old ladies were sitting on a park bench when a flasher came by in only an overcoat and opened it as wide as it could go.
The first little old lady had a stroke, the second little old lady also had a stroke, but the third little old lady couldn't reach.
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How is parsley like pubic hair?
You push it aside to eat, and sometimes it gets stuck between your teeth after meals.
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How do you make stew out of a leper?
Put him in a Jacuzzi and turn it on full.
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Q: Why did the bald man cut holes in his pockets?
A: He wanted to run his fingers through his hair.
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If you think you have shitty job, what if you were toilet paper!
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Sperm 1: How much longer tell we get to the egg?
Sperm 2: We've still got a long way to go. We're only half way down the esophagus.
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