Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his boyfriend? A: He wiped.
Q: Did you hear about the annoying midget who went to a nudist colony? A: He kept getting in everyone's hair.
One day, a man was fishing on a dock across from a hotel in the country, when another man came and sat down. By way of conversation, the man asked the other what he was doing there. "I'm on a honeymoon." "Oh. Shouldn't you be having sex with your wife?" "Well, I would be. But she has a yeast infection." "What about oral sex?" "Gingivitis." "Anal sex?" "Diarrhea." "Pardon my question, but why are you with her?" "Well, I like fishing. And she's got worms."
Boy while kissing his girlfriend: "Thank u baby... For give me your chewing gum.." Girl says, "This is not chewing gum my love. I’m suffering from cough!"
Q: Whats the height of desperation? A: A vampire sucking blood from a sanitary napkin.
An old man and his wife went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked the man for a blood, urine and feces sample. The man was slightly deaf and said, "What?" The doctor said, "I need a blood, urine and feces sample." The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear, "Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear."
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.
A: What does 70-year-old p***y taste like? A: Depends.
What is the differance between a dead baby and a VHS tape? The VHS tape don't stink when you leave it out in the sun.
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
When you're neckin' with yer honey And your nose is kinda runny You might think it's funny... But it's not.