Joke #5179

Q: What do you get when you cross a elephant with a witch? A: I don’t know but she will need a very large broom!
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has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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Little Johnny's dad is sitting on the side of the bed rolling on a condom about to give his wife some. Little Johnny sticks his head in the door, sees his dad and says, "Whatcha doin' Daddy?" Johnny's dad stoops over to cover up his d*ck and starts looking at the floor. "Oh, I'm just looking for this big rat I saw." he says. Little Johnny asks, "Whatcha gonna do, f*ck it?"
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has 80.01 % from 241 votes. More jokes about: dirty
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application? Your iphone will keep crashing!
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty, IT, phone
A man gets the words 'I love you' tattoed to his penis. He goes home and shows his wife. His wife says, "Don't try to put words into my mouth!"
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has 81.65 % from 1084 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, love, wife
Mickey Mouse is having a nasty divorce with Minnie Mouse. Mickey spoke to the judge about the separation. "I'm sorry Mickey, but I can't legally separate you two on the grounds that Minnie is mentally insane..." Mickey replied, "I didn't say she was mentally insane, I said that she's fucking goofy!"
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has 82.87 % from 399 votes. More jokes about: dirty, divorce, lawyer
After working together for a while, Frank and Jane's office romance blossomed and they really developed the hots for each other. One day,they seize the opportunity to sneak into a supply closet to consummate their lust. Frank finds Jane very tight and difficult to enter, but finally succeeds. When they are finished, Frank says to her, "If I had known you were a virgin, I would have taken more time!" To which Jane replies, "If I'd known you had more time, I would have taken off my pantyhose!"
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has 75.43 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: How do u call an gay Indian guy. A: Indi-anus
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has 39.96 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: dirty, ethnic, gay, racist
My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She: "What are you doing?" Me: "I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering.
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has 57.66 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face. I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face."
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has 85.01 % from 632 votes. More jokes about: dirty, horse, sport
Jim decided to propose to Sandy, but prior to her acceptance. Sandy had to confess to her man about her childhood illness. She informed Jim that she suffered a disease that left her breasts at maturity of a 12 years old. He stated that it was OK because he loved her so much. “I too have a problem. My penis is the same size as an infant and I hope you could deal with that once we are married.” She said, “Yes I will marry you and learn to live with your infant penis.” Sandy and Jim got married and they could not wait so Jim whisked Sandy off to their hotel suite and they started touch teasing, holding one another. As Sandy put her hands in Jim’s pants, she began to scream and ran out of the room! Jim ran after her to find out what was wrong. She said, “You told me your penis was the size of an infant!” “Yes it is: 8 pounds, 7 ounces, 19 inches long!”
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has 85.50 % from 1709 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, health, love, marriage
A guy feels out an application for E-harmony to meet the ladies. E-harmony rejected his application because he failed to answer question 14 properly. The question was, "What do you like most in a woman." The man replied, "My d*ck."
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has 76.69 % from 133 votes. More jokes about: dirty