A big dirty farmer walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:
"This is the pig I have to f*ck when you're not up for s*x."
His wife says: "I think you'll find that's a sheep."
He says: " I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep!"
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How do you make a woman scream twice in the bedroom?
Fuck her in the ass then wipe your dick on the curtains.
Vote:
Bully: Your dick is probably like a tic tac.
Geek: No wonder your mom's mouth is so fresh.
Class: Oooooohhhh!
Q: What is the difference between a blonde and the local football team?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Listening to censored hip-hop is like going to a whore for a hug.
"Does your ass have Allstate insurance?"
"No, why?"
"Well, do you want it to be in good hands?"
Q: How do you know when a machanic has had sex?
A: Two of his fingers are clean.
Billy woke up in the middle of the night, thirsty.
Instead of going to the kitchen though, he goes to his parents’ bedroom, while they were about to have sex and his father had a condom in his hand.
The father, surprised by his son entrance, bent over pretending to look for something.
"What are you looking for?" Billy asked.
"Aw, well..hmm.. I’m looking for a little mouse!" the father lied.
So, Billy spontaneously: "Why..? To “jump” it..?"
They are going to play golf at the business meeting.
The guy flies out there a day early.
He's got all day in Japan so he decides he wants to get himself a geisha.
He goes to a house of ill repute and finds what he's looking for.
He takes her in back and starts doing his thing.
The girl starts going crazy.
She starts yelling, "Machigatta ana! Machigatta ana!"
He thinks, "This girl is loving this."
Next day in the golf course he hits a hole in one.
He doesn't know any Japanese so he yells, "Machigatta ana!"
The Japanese guys ask him, "What do you mean wrong hole?"
Why was the BLIND blonde sitting on newspaper?
So she can lip read.