A big dirty farmer walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm and says:
"This is the pig I have to f*ck when you're not up for s*x."
His wife says: "I think you'll find that's a sheep."
He says: " I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep!"
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A son is discussing funeral arrangements with his dying mother.
‘Would you like to be buried or cremated?’ asks the son.
The mother replies, ‘I don’t know.
Surprise me.’
Q: How are rape and an airplane similar?
A: The ride gets more annoying when the kid starts screaming.
Q: Why was the dirty old man fired from the poultry shop?
A: He couldn't keep his hands off the breasts and thighs.
I see you ordered the most expensive item on the menu for our first date.
I hope you realize that it comes with a side order of my dick.
Lady, how many sex partners have you had?
Three.. oh no, wait... nine - I have forgotten one case.
Happy Father's Day to someome who's been completely replaced in his marriage by Fifty Shades of Grey.
Vote:
"Mom, where do tampons go?"
"Where the babies come from, darling."
"In a stork?
Girl: Baby im wet.
Boy: Want a paper towel?
Girl: No, i want more then that ;)
Boy: Want 2 paper towels?
Girl: No, baby i want sumthing big and round ;)
Boy: Damn you want the whole roll?
Three rabbits escape from a testing lab and find an entire field full of carrots.
They eat themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night.
The next morning, they find an entire field full of female rabbits with no males in sight.
They screw themselves into a stupor and sleep throughout the night.
The next morning, the rabbits get to talking.
"I'm gonna go back to that field of carrots," says one.
"I'm gonna go back to those cute little rabbits," says the second.
"I'm going back to the lab," says the third. "I'm dying for a cigarette."