Joke #5661

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.

Boy: I would go to the end of the world for you! Girl: yes, but would you stay there….

Wife complains husband, "When I'm crossing the dark forest when I'm comming back home I'm scared that someone will rape me." "Don't worry" answers husband, "you wouldn't be so lucky..."

Personally, I think one of the greatest things about marriage is that, as both husband and father, I can say anything I want to around the house. Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.

I'm going to watch my wedding video later "backwards". I love the end bit when she takes the ring off, goes back down the aisle and jumps in the car.

Husband: Knocks the door at midnight. Wife: Go back where you coming from! Husband: Open the door or I throw myself in the swimming pool! Wife: Go ahead and kill yourself, do you think I care? So the husband stands near the dark part of the gate and waits for 2 minutes, takes a big stone and throws it into the swimming pool. !!!!..Scheweew..!!!! Wife hears and opens the door and runs towards the swimming pool. The husband quickly sneaks into the house then locks the door. Wife: Open the door or I will shout!! Husband: Shout till all the neighbours wakes up and comes here. Tell them where you are coming from by this time of the night with only a panty and a bra!

"Honey," said this husband to his wife, "I invited a friend home for supper." "What? Are you crazy? The house is a mess, I haven't been shopping, all the dishes are dirty, and I don't feel like cooking a fancy meal!" "I know all that." "Then why did you invite a friend for supper?" "Because the poor fool's thinking about getting married."

I’ve been happily married for ten whole years. And ten out of thirty isn’t bad.

Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster? Because he was a commentator.

A man would come home very late and very drunk every night. His wife decides to teach him a lesson by dressing up like Satan and scaring him. When he finally stumbles across the lawn, his wife jumps out and howls like a demon. He looks at her and slurs, "You don't scare me. I'm married to your sister!"

Wife: Why do you go out in the balcony, when I start singing. Husband: Because the people would think I am beating you.