Joke #5661

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have: the older she gets, the more interested he is in her.
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has 52.46 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: marriage

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A man was invited for dinner at a friend's house. Every time the host needed something, he preceded his request to his wife by calling her "My Love", "Darling", "Sweetheart", etc., etc. His friend looked at him and said, "That's really nice after all of these years you've been married to keep saying those little pet names." The host said, "Well, honestly, I've forgotten her name."
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has 78.18 % from 153 votes. More jokes about: love, marriage, time, women
A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor!"
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has 62.00 % from 277 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, sex, wife
Three guys all think that their wives are cheating on them. The first guy thinks his wife is screwing a plumber because he found a tool belt under his bed. The second guy thinks his wife is screwing a judge because he found a robe and gavel under his bed. The third guy says, "That's nothing! I came home and found a cowboy under my bed. I can't believe my wife is screwing a horse."
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has 53.07 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A woman goes to England to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip. The wife answers: "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for you?" The husband laughs and says: "An English girl!" The woman kept quiet and left. Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how was the trip?" "Very good, thank you," replies the wife. "And, what happened to my present?" "Which present?" "I asked for, the English girl?" "Oh, that! Well, I did what I could, now we have to wait a few months to see if its a girl!"
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has 69.99 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, travel, wife
For their 10th anniversary, a wife surprises her husband by wearing the lingerie she wore on their wedding night. She asks her husband what his exact thoughts were 10 years ago when he first saw her in the lingerie. He says, "I wanted to suck your tits dry and f**k your brains out." "Well, what do you think today?" He says, "I think I did a good job."
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has 50.86 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: marriage
A wife tells her husband: "We never go out anywhere…" "Great, tomorrow I will be going to through our the garbage, you may join me…"
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: husband, marriage, wife
Whats the difference between married men and parking spaces? Nothing all the good ones are taken.
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has 30.43 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: marriage
Man is incomplete until he’s married. Then he’s finished.
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has 85.77 % from 451 votes. More jokes about: marriage
On the way home from a hunt, a hunter stops by the grocery store. "Give me a couple of steaks," he says. "We're out of steaks but we have hot dogs and chicken," says the butcher. "Hotdogs and chicken?!" yells the hunter. "How can I tell my wife I bagged a couple of hotdogs and chickens?"
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has 57.92 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, hunting, marriage, mean
The best way to get your husband to do something is to suggest he’s too old to do it.
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has 85.21 % from 396 votes. More jokes about: marriage