Statistics say that women think they are smarter than men because they can fake orgasms.
Men say "Big deal. We can fake a whole relationship just for a shag."
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An exhausted hunter out in the woods stumbled across another hunter.
Hunter 1: "Am I glad to see you, I've been lost for three days."
Hunter 2: "Don't get too excited, friend, I've been lost for three weeks."
Women need a reason to have sex - men just need a place.
How do you get a man to stop biting his nails?
Make him wear shoes.
An advertisement:
I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones.
Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.
Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
A.So they wouldn't hump women's legs at cocktail parties.
B.So they wouldn't stop to play with every other man they see when you take them around the block.
Girl: "Girls are better than boys."
Boy: "Then why did God make boys first?"
Girl: "Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."
A woman didn't come home one night.
The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends.
None of them knew anything about it.
A man didn't come home 1 night.
The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house.
The wife called her husband's 10 best friends.
8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.
Q: How does a man show he is planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer.
How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
One...men will screw anything.
Vote:
Two guys are walking down the street when a mugger approaches them and demands their money. They both grudgingly pull out their wallets and begin taking out their cash.
Just then one guy turns to the other and hands him a bill.
"Here’s that $20 I owe you," he says.