Statistics say that women think they are smarter than men because they can fake orgasms.
Men say "Big deal. We can fake a whole relationship just for a shag."
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A man was digging a ditch, when he uncovered a lamp.
When he brushed it off, a genie popped out, and said "To show my gratitude for releasing me, I'll grant you one wish.."
The man thought for a second, reached into his pocket, pulled out a map of the world, pointed to the Middle-East, and replied "I want you to bring peace to this area."
"Ooooh...I'm so sorry, that's impossible" said the genie. "There's absolutely no way I could accomplish such a great feat, so you'll have to choose another wish..."
The man then said "Well...then how about having my wife give me oral-sex voluntarily...?"
The genie thought for a minute, then said "Can I see that map again..?"
Q:How many divorced men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A:None, the sockets go with the house.
Vote:
Ladies and Gentlemen, if there is anybody here who is feeling, worried, nervous or apprehensive it is probably because you just married John.
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
How does a man show he's planning for the future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
"What is the thickest book in the world?
What Men Think They Know About Women."
Q. Why did the man cross the road?
A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
What does a man consider a seven course meal?
A hot dog and a six pack.
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.