Statistics say that women think they are smarter than men because they can fake orgasms.
Men say "Big deal. We can fake a whole relationship just for a shag."
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Q: How does a man show he is planning for the future?
A: He buys two cases of beer.
A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril.
He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well."
The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
How are husbands like lawn mowers?
They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
While reading the newspaper, Walter came across an article about a beautiful actress and model who married a boxer who was not noted for his IQ.
"I'll never understand," he said to his wife, "why the biggest jerks get the most attractive wives."
His wife replied: "Thank you, dear!"
What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant?
Any place without a drive-up window.
What do you call the useless piece of skin on a penis? The man.
Why is sleeping with a man like a soap opera?
Just when it's getting interesting, they're finished until next time.
What did God say after she made Eve?
"Practice makes perfect."
Do you know why men have holes in the end of their penises?
So oxygen can get into their brains.