Joke #3281

Why don't men often show their true feelings? Because they don't have any.
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: men

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A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four". Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!". Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fell off.
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has 58.75 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, men, phone, women
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.
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has 70.40 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, men
Question: Why do men die before their wives? Answer: Because they want to.
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has 62.44 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: death, men, wife, women
A brunette who really hated blondes was walking through the desert when she came across a magic lamp. After rubbing the lamp the genie told her that she got three wishes with one catch: All the blondes in the world would get twice whatever she asked for. So the brunette thought a while and then wished for a million dollars. "Every blonde in the world will get two million." The brunette said that was fine and then she asked for an incredibly handsome man. Every blonde in the world will get two incredibly handsome men. The brunette said that was fine too and the genie granted her wishes. "Now for your third wish." said the genie. "See that stick over there?", asked the brunette, "I want you to beat me half to death with it."
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has 79.95 % from 167 votes. More jokes about: blonde, death, genie, men, money
Why do men want to marry virgins? They can't stand criticism.
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has 30.11 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: marriage, men
There were 11 people – ten men and one woman – hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter. They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn’t, the rope would break and everyone would die. No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return. When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.
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has 81.49 % from 279 votes. More jokes about: husband, kids, life, men, women
How is a man like a microwave oven? Just another thing that heats up instantly and goes off in twenty seconds.
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has 35.66 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: men
"Lisa, why are you so angry with me?" "Because I'm Christine."
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has 77.03 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: men
Q: What does a shot of Everclear and a Woman have in common? A: Both of them make men start talking nonsense!
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has 29.01 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, men, women