Guy: Wanna suck my dick?
Girl: No.
Guy: Probably for the best. I mean, it has a label-Warning! Choking Hazard!
Girl: Isn't that the warning put on tiny objects?
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A middle aged guy and his teenage daughter were riding a motor bike and taking a shortcut through a darkened park when they were stopped by a gang of muggers.
They searched them and took the guys wallet, his watch and the motorbike but couldn’t find any jewelry from the girl.When the muggers had gone, the guy asked his daughter; “Did they take your new diamond ring as well dear?”
“No Papa,” replied the girl with a grin, “I managed to hide it when they were searching you.”
“Hide it? where?” asked the guy,” I saw them search you too.”
“I slipped it into my… a… my . . .um…. pee pee place.
”said the girl shyly.
“Damn!” swore the guy,
“If only your mother were here, we could have saved my motor bike!”
Let me insert my plug into your socket and we can generate some electricity.
Two condoms walk into a gay bar, look at each other and say "let's get shit-faced!"
Two nuns are walking back to the convent at night when two men push them into a dark alley and start having sex with them.
One nun says "God, forgive them for they know not what they are doing!"
The second nun says "Speak for yours! Mine is a Master!"
Are you a candle?
Because I want to blow you.
They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.
Vote:
Q: Chuck Norris invented the internet?
A: Just so he had a place to store his porn.
Vote:
Tow millipedes went for honey moon.
The male one asked: "My darling, between which feet is your pussy, please?"
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.