Joke #5766

What is difference between woman and condom? None :-) Both of them spend more time in your wallet...than on your d*ck !
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has 64.69 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: dirty

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Two older women were outside their nursing home, having a smoke, when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette, and continued smoking. First Lady:Whats that? Second Lady: A condom. This way my cigarette doesnt get wet. First Lady: Where did you get it? Second Lady : You can get them at any drugstore. The next day, Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy, obviously embarrassed, looks at her strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years old), but very delicately asks what brand she prefers. Doesn't matter son, as long as it fits a Camel.
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has 85.21 % from 244 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Why Trick-or-Treating Is Better Than Sex: - You are guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack. - If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go at it again. - The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some. - You don't have to keep in touch with the person who gives you some. - 40 years from now, you'll still enjoy candy. - If you don't like what you get, you can always go next door. - It doesn't matter if the kids hear you moaning with pleasure. - You can do the whole neighborhood.
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has 79.24 % from 417 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, time
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a prostitute? A: Clothes.
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has 61.43 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: dirty, insulting, lawyer, mean, sex
Valentines Day is the day that the "V" and "D" come together.
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex, Valentines day
There was three girls and they all had boyfriends and separate rooms. The mom walked by all the rooms. The first room she hears laughing, the second room she heard screaming and the third was totally quiet. The mom was suspicious, so she asked the third girl why was she so quiet she replied, "My boyfriend said not to talk with my mouth full."
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: dirty
A woman walks into a dildo shop to buy a dildo. After a few minutes of looking around she approaches the clerk. "Excuse me, do you have anything bigger?" She asks. The clerk shows her a few items on the shelf. "I'm looking for something bigger than those," she says. The clerk pauses for a moment, "I think I might have what you're looking for, but it's expensive." "Oh that's fine," she says. The clerk leads her to the counter where he was sitting and pulls out a massive chrome cylinder. "$500" he says. "Oh wow," says the woman, "that is expensive, but it's perfect." The woman hands the clerk $500 and happily leaves the store. The store owner comes out and asks the clerk, "so have you sold any dildos?" "No, but I sold my thermos for $500."
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Q: What's the difference between acne and a Roman Catholic Priest from the Vatican? A: Acne would wait until you're at least 13 before it would cum on your face!
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has 56.81 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: age, catholic, dirty, priest, sex
A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"
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has 45.48 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Knock,Knock, Who is there? Pen! Pen who? is...
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has 74.09 % from 303 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, knock-knock, vulgar
My girlfriends dad asked me what I do. Apparently, "your daughter" wasn't the right answer.
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has 69.96 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: dad, dirty