Once there was a blonde who really needed some money.
She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory.
She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring.
The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad.
After long consideration the manager hired her.
After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up.
The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was.
When he arived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.
The manager said, "I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!"
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A blonde is watching a ventriloquist perform at a bar and the ventriloquist, with his dummy, is telling blonde joke after blonde joke, filling the bar with laughter.
After several of these jokes, the blonde stands up, infuriated, and yells, "Listen here, jack*ss. Not all blondes are stupid and the jokes need to stop, it is a very cheap way to get laughs."
Stunned, the ventriloquist timidly begins to apologize, "Ma'am, I am so sorry. I had no idea I was offending anyone."
The blonde replies, "Stay out of this, sir. I'm talking to that little sh*t on your knee!"
Q: How did the blonde die at the baseball game?
A: She drowned during the wave.
A blonde pushes her BMW into the gas station and tells the mechanic that it died.
After working on it for a few minutes, he has it idling smoothly.
"What's the story?" she asked.
"Just crap in the carburator," the mechanic replied.
"How often do I have to do that?" asked the blonde.
A blonde gets lost in her car in a snowstorm.
She remembers her father's advice, "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, wait for a snow plow and follow it."
Soon a snow plow comes by, and she follows it for about 45 minutes.
Finally, the driver of the truck gets out and asks her what she is doing.
She explains the advice her father had given her.
The driver says, "Well, I'm done with the parking lot here at the mall, now you can follow me over to the bank."
A blonde returned home from work and was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized.
She called the police immediately to report the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out onto the porch.
The sight of the cop and his dog made her shudder.
She put her face in her hands as she sat down on the steps and began moaning.
"What's the moaning all about, ma'am?" asked the officer.
The blonde replied, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen, so I call the police for help, and what do they do?
They send me a blind policeman!"
A blonde has sharp pains in her side.
The doctor examines her and says, "You have acute appendicitis."
The blonde says, "That's sweet, doc, but I came here to get medical help."
My blonde girlfriend went to the doctors this morning and was told she had two weeks to live.
She chose last week and this week.
What’s five miles long and has an IQ of forty?
A blonde parade.
Q: Why couldn't the blonde add 10 and seven on a calculator?
A: She couldn't find the 10 key.