Once there was a blonde who really needed some money.
She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory.
She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring.
The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad.
After long consideration the manager hired her.
After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up.
The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was.
When he arived there the blonde was sewing two marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.
The manager said, "I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!"
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Q. Why was the blonde in the tree?
A. Because she was raking up the leaves!
Did you hear what the blonde who was opening a new bar said when her lawyer explained to her that she needed a liquor license?
"Oh, it's not gonna be THAT kind of a bar. That's disgusting!"
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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you?
Pull the pin and throw it back
Q: What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A: "Have another beer."
Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.
Q: How did the blonde die at the baseball game?
A: She drowned during the wave.
A blonde biology student conducts an experiment on grasshoppers.
She pulls off one of its legs at a time and yells, "Hop."
The grasshopper hops each time until all of its legs are gone.
The blonde concludes: when all the legs of a grasshopper are removed, it becomes deaf.
A blonde walked into her final exam very nervous.
But when she received the test, she was relieved to find out that it was a True or False exam.
Immediately, she reached into her purse and pulled out a coin.
Each time she flipped the coin she would write down an answer. "What are you doing?" the professor asked her.
"I'm figuring out the answers," the blonde replied.
To this, the professor just rolled his eyes and looked away.
When she was done, the professor announced that there were five minutes left to go.
"Oh my god!" she said in an excited voice, and started to flip the coin as fast as possible.
Why can’t blondes make ice cubes?
They forget the recipe.
We went to see a movie the other night.
I sat in an aisle seat as I usually do because it feels a little roomier.
Just as the feature was about to start, a blonde from the center of the row got up and started working her way out.
“Excuse me, sorry, oops, excuse me, pardon me, gotta hurry, oops, excuse me.”
By the time she got to me, I was trying to look around her and I was a little impatient, so I said, “Couldn’t you have done this a little earlier?”
“No!” she said in a loud whisper. “The ‘TURN OFF YOUR CELL PHONE PLEASE’ message just flashed up on the screen and mine is in the car.”