A blonde and a both jump off a cliff at the same time.
Which one will hit the bottom first?
The brunette, because the blonde has to ask for directions.
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A blonde is on holiday and she wallks into an internet cafe to send an e-mail to her mum in America.
She doesn't know how to work the computers so she goes up to the guy on the desk and says: "Excuse me could you help me send an e-mail to my mum?"
The guy says "Yeh, but it will cost ya"
And the blonde says "Sure i'll do anything for my mum"
The guy says: "In that case follow me"
So she follows him into the back room and he pushes her down onto her knees, he unzips his trousers and pulls down his boxers and says: "Well go on then you said you'd do anything!"
So she picks up his dick, holds it to her mouth and says: "Hello.........mum are you there?"
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A man and a blonde are at an ATM.
The man says "I know you'r pincode, it's ****" and the blonde says "No it's not! It's 4829!"
Three blondes enter a bar.
They are happy, dancing and singing.
The barman asks them:
What are you girls celebrating?
We just finished a puzzle that took us tree months to finish.
So? The barman asks.
On the box wrought 2-4 years!
What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A mental block.
Q: What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties?
A: Women!
A blonde finds a lamp with a genie inside.
He says, "I will grant you three wishes."
The blonde says, "For my first wish, I want my love handles to disappear."
The genie replies, "Your wish is my command."
Suddenly, the blonde exclaims, "Holy sh*t! What did you do with my ears?"
What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
I wonder if it's mine.
One day three blondes were walking along and came upon a raging, violent river.
They needed to get to the other side, but had no idea of how to do it.
The first blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength to cross this river."
Poof! God gave her big arms and strong legs, and she was able to swim across the river in about two hours.
Seeing this the second blonde prayed to god saying, "Please god, give me the strength and ability to cross this river." Poof!
God gave her a rowboat and she was able to row across the river in about three hours.
The third blond had seen how this worked out for the other two, so she also prayed to god saying, "please god, give me the strength, ability, and intelligence to cross this river."
And Poof! God turned her into a man.
He looked at the map, then walked upstream and across the bridge.
A blonde is watching a ventriloquist perform at a bar and the ventriloquist, with his dummy, is telling blonde joke after blonde joke, filling the bar with laughter.
After several of these jokes, the blonde stands up, infuriated, and yells, "Listen here, jack*ss. Not all blondes are stupid and the jokes need to stop, it is a very cheap way to get laughs."
Stunned, the ventriloquist timidly begins to apologize, "Ma'am, I am so sorry. I had no idea I was offending anyone."
The blonde replies, "Stay out of this, sir. I'm talking to that little sh*t on your knee!"