Joke #5283

What happened when the blonde tried to give her boyfriend a blow-job while he was driving? They both fell off the motorcycle.
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One night a man and woman went to his house to have sex when he stopped her to say "I still live with my parents and me and my brother share bunk beds so if you want to change positions say "lettuce" and if you want to go faster say "tomatos" So they were getting it on and she was screaming "lettuce, lettuce, tomatos, lettuce, tomatos, tomatos" Suddenly the younger brother (on the bottom bunk) said "Could you stop making sandwiches your getting mayonase on me"!
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Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
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A man is out shopping when he discovers a new brand of Olympic condoms. He buys a pack and shows his wife. ‘They’re in three colours,’ he tells her, ‘Gold, silver and bronze.’ ‘So what colour are you going to wear tonight?’ she asks. ‘Gold of course,’ replies the man. ‘Why don’t you wear silver?’ replies his wife. ‘It would be nice if you came second for a change!’
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Q. Why do women stop bleeding when entering the menopause ? A. Because they need all the blood for their varicose veins!
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Q: What do Democrats and porn stars have in common? A: They are experts in switching positions in front of a camera.
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Did you hear about the new ‘morning after’ pill for men? It changes their blood type.
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Dad: Hey son, if you keep masturbating your going to go blind. Son: Dad im over here.
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What do you call men who use the pull out method? Fathers.
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Happy Father's Day to the top three most likely candidates.
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Boy: What's it called when 3 people have sex? Girl: A threesome. Boy: What's it called when two people have sex? Girl: A twosome. Boy: Now you know why they call me handsome.
Vote: has 77.02 % from 959 votes. Send joke:

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