A man with no legs is lying on the beach, when three attractive blondes approach him. The first blonde says to him "I bet you've never been hugged before."
The legless man shakes his head.
Then the second blonde says, "I bet you've never been kissed before."
The legless man shakes his head again.
Then the third blonde says, "I bet you've never been fucked before."
The legless man says, "No."
The third blonde replies, "Well you are now because the tide is coming in!"
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I laughed and told him: "It is not a suitable cause."
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How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
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A: All of them.
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A bunch of new recruits are making their first parachute jump.
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Your parachute will automatically open.
If it doesn't, pull the emergency cord.
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Move out!"
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He jerks on the cord, and it comes off in his hand.
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Two cannibals are enjoying a Thanksgiving dinner and a light conversation about all things family.
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"That's quite understandable," nods the other one, "why don't you just have the potatoes with the gravy?"
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What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?
A cherry float.
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Doctor to Patient: "Don’t worry about your heart. It will function as long as you live."
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