What happens if you upset a cannibal?
You get into hot water.
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There's some soldiers in Vietnam.
And they've been pinned down in their trench for days.
Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes. When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back."
So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle.
But he's gone for a good half an hour, they're finally convinced that he's been murdered by Charlie when they hear the signal.
So they lay down fire and he sprints out of the jungle and leaps back into the trench.
So obviously they're pretty confused.
They ask "what the hell took you so long man?"
The guy says, "well i was just finishing up my business, when I met this beautiful Vietnamese girl, and we just started having sex right there. we did every position imaginable, missionary, doggy style, everything. It was great."
One of his buddies asks "Well did you get any head?"
He replies "There was no head."
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Want to hear a clean joke?
The boy took a bath with bubbles.
Want to hear a dirty joke?
Bubbles was a man.
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What did the Boston Marathon bombers do that Hitler couldn't?
Ended a race.
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A Georgian man sits in the dock at the court, with his neck bended down.
The judge: "Why did you rape the girl?"
"I liked her."
"Why did you raped the boy?"
"I liked him."
"Sir, why don't you look to my eyes when you talk to me?"
"I'm afraid I'll like you…"
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Two cannibals were having their dinner.
One said to the other "I don't like your friend."
The other one said, "Well, put him to one side and just eat the vegetables."
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Q: Why are ghosts bad liars?
A: Because you can see right through them!
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Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife?
When she spread her legs he saw bush.
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Two Arabs are sitting in the Gaza Strip chatting over a pint of goats milk.
One pulls his wallet out and starts flipping through pictures and they start reminiscing.
"This is my oldest son.
He's a martyr.
"Here's my second son.
He's a martyr too!"
After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab wistfully says , They blow up so fast, don't they?"
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First Cannibal: "Have you seen the dentist?"
Second Cannibal: "Yes, he filled my teeth at dinner time."
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Q: What was Hitler's favorite toy as a kid?
A: An Easy-Bake Oven.
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