Joke #11163

What happens if you upset a cannibal? You get into hot water.
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A bunch of new recruits are making their first parachute jump. The sergeant gives instructions: "After you jump out of the plane, count slowly to 10. Your parachute will automatically open. If it doesn't, pull the emergency cord. When you get to the drop zone, there'll be trucks waiting to take you back to the base. Move out!" As scared as they are, they all make it out the door. The last recruit jumps out and slowly counts to 10 -- nothing. He frantically fumbles around and finds the emergency handle. He jerks on the cord, and it comes off in his hand. Raising his head to the heavens, he screams, "I bet them trucks ain't waiting either!!"
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Jerry was in the hospital recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. “I’m OK but I didn’t like the four-letter-word the doctor used in surgery,” he answered. “What did he say?,” asked the nurse. “OOPS!”
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Q: Who may open the door without using hands, nor legs? A: An invalid.
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How are babies and the elderly alike? Both are fun to throw out of moving cars.
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Q: How does every black joke start? A: With the white guy looking over his shoulder.
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Me and my wife decided that we don't want to have children anymore. So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
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"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
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My grandfather can no longer do the things he loved to do as a teenager. Flying planes, bombing Germans...
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Why would the cannibal only eat babies? He was on a diet!
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A woman gave her two sons to different families for adoption. One goes to an Egyptian family and called Amal. The second child goes to Spain and is called Juan. Many years later, Juan sends his mother a photo of himself. She turns to her sister saying that she wished that she had a photo of her other son. The sister responded "Hey, they are identical twins. If you have seen Juan, you have seen Amal."
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More jokes about: black humor, family