Joke #11163

What happens if you upset a cannibal? You get into hot water.
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has 68.56 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: black humor

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Little Johnny was in Maths class when his teacher asked him: "Johnny, if your Mother had to repay a loan of $100,000, and you gave her $50,000, what would she need to repay the loan?" Johnny replied, "To repay the loan? $50,000 more. To stay alive? CPR."
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has 54.59 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: black humor, little Johnny, math, money, vulgar
Three buddies die in a car crash, they go to heaven to an orientation. They are all asked, "When you’re in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you?" The first guy says, "I’d like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man." The second guy says, "I’d like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher who made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." The last guy replies, "I’d like to hear them say…… look at him, he's moving!"
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has 84.72 % from 251 votes. More jokes about: black humor, car, death, family, heaven
"Mommy, mommy, I found daddy!" "How often do I have to tell you not to dig around in the garden!"
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has 73.93 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dad, death, husband, kids
Q: What do you call a 100 lack people in the ocean? A: An oil spill
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has 36.08 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: black humor, morbid
Two foreign immigrants have just arrived in the United States by boat and one says to the other, "I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs." "Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in America, we might as well do as the Americans do." Nodding emphatically, one of the immigrants points to a hot dog vendor and they both walk toward the cart. "Two dogs, please," she says. The vendor is only too pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands them over the counter. Excited, the companions hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their "dogs." One of them opens the foil and begins to blush. Staring at it for a moment, she turns to her friend and whispers cautiously, "What part did you get?"
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has 85.57 % from 274 votes. More jokes about: black humor
It is interesting how different nations have their dogs make different sounds. An American dog goes Woof, a Czech dog goes Haf, a Dutch dog goes Blaf and a Chinese dog goes Sizzle.
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has 70.73 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: black humor, dog, ethnic, food
Always go to other people’s funerals, or they won’t go to yours.
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has 46.76 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Why are little girls better than little boys? Because when you're finished using them as little girls, you can turn them over and use them as little boys.
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has 52.10 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: black humor, kids
A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly. Suddenly, Lorraine died. At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, "I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone."
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has 56.63 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, funeral, music
Q: Why did the boy fall off the swing? A: He didn't have any arms.
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has 54.77 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: black humor