Joke #11163

What happens if you upset a cannibal? You get into hot water.
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A man goes to the doctor and says "I need birth control for my 10 year old daughter" The doctor replies "She's 10 years old and sexually active?" The man says" Active? Hell no! Most of the time se just lies there and cries."
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Q: What did the deaf, blind, mute girl get for Christmas? A: Cancer.
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A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."
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A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
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Why did the little girl fall off of her bike? Because she didn't have any arms.
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Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies? A: Hey y'all... Watch this!
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Since it started to rain, my wife can't stop looking through the window. If it will start pouring down, I'm afraid I will have to let her inside.
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Why was the cannibal fined by the judge? He was caught poaching.
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Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
Vote: has 70.78 % from 61 votes. Send joke:

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They say the surest way to a man's heart is through the stomach. But personally, I find going through the ribcage a lot easier.
Vote: has 74.43 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

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