What happens if you upset a cannibal?
You get into hot water.
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There are four people from different counties on the Empire State Building. One is Japanese, one is French, one is Mexican, and one is American.
They all want to throw something off the building that they have a lot of in their country.
The Japanese guy goes first. He throws off sushi.
There is a lot of sushi in my country.
Next is the French guy. He throws off a condom.
There is too much love in my country.
Next is the Mexican. He throws off a taco.
There is too much taco in my country.
Next goes the American. He looks around him and picks the Mexican up and throws him of the building and says:
There are too much Mexicans in my country.
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Why did the cannibal live on his own?
He was fed up with other people.
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Q: How do you make a dog go ‘miaow’?
A: Freeze it in liquid nitrogen, and run it through a bandsaw…
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Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout?
A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.
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War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left.
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Q: What's the nickname for someone who put their right hand in the mouth of a T-Rex?
A: Lefty.
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What's 18 inches long and makes women scream all night ?
Crib death.
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What's red and dances all around?
A baby on a barbecue
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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish.
After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns.
Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news.
She opens the door and hears Fred sing:
"Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"
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What do you call a van with 5 faggots in it?
The AIDS team.
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