Why did Hitler go to the eye doctor?
Because he can Nazi.
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Q: How do you fit 60,000 Jews in a minivan?
A: With a dustpan.
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Lifting weights have really helped me with the ladies - the last five I raped didn't stand a chance.
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How many dead babies does it take to change a tire?
Two, one to prop up the car and one to replace it incase it explodes.
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The crusty old managing partner finally passed away, but his firm kept receiving calls asking to speak with him.
"I'm sorry, he's dead," was the standard answer.
Finally, the receptionist who fielded the calls began to realize it was always the same voice, so she asked who it was and why he kept calling.
The reply: "I used to be one of his junior associates, and I just like to hear you say it."
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Q: What was Hitler's favorite toy as a kid?
A: An Easy-Bake Oven.
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Q: What is height of Suicide?
A: A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road.
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I saw a girl crying, so I asked her "Where are your parents?" and she started crying even more.
Man, I love working at the orphanage.
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Q: What's the fastest way to a man's heart?
A: With a knife.
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The reason why women will never be the ones who propose is that as soon as they get on their knees, man starts unzipping.
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"Doctor, please, my son ate some cement. What can I do?"
"First of all, don't give him anything to drink."
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