Joke #8975

Why did Hitler go to the eye doctor? Because he can Nazi.
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I'm thinking about opening a summer camp for jewish kids with adhd and dyslexia, I'm gonna call it Concentration camp.
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While examining the the body of Mr. Schwartz, a mortician notices that Schwartz has the largest penis he has ever seen. "I'm sorry, Mr. Schwartz," says the mortician, "But I can't send you to be cremated with a tremendously huge penis like this. It has to be saved for posterity." The mortician removes the penis, places it in a jar and puts the jar in his briefcase. When he gets home, he decides to show it to his wife. "I have something to show you that you won't believe," he says, removing the jar from his briefcase. "Oh my God!" she screams, "Schwartz is dead!"
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Anyone want to try the ALS gas bucket challenge HMU.
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Crocodiles are easy. They try to kill and eat you. People are harder. Sometimes they pretend to be your friend first. - Steve Irwin (1962 - 2006)
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Two best friends are lying on the beach and discussing: "Last night I saw a terrible nightmare…" "What did you see?" "I saw my mother-in-law swimming in the sea and being chase by a shark…" "Wow horror!" "Horror?! You say nothing! She almost got away!"
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Hitler got a heart attack when he saw the gas bill.
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What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A baby with a punctured lung.
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Q: Why does Luke Skywalker always ask for favors? A: Because he needs someone to lend a hand.
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What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
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What's purple, covered in pus and squeals? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
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