Joke #532

Boss comes up to an employee: "Yesterday you did a great job - in one day you managed to do as much work, as you did in previous month!" "Thanks boss, that's because Facebook was shut down for the whole day."
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has 72.01 % from 303 votes. More jokes about: Facebook, work

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Google+ is the gym of social networking. We all join, but nobody actually uses it.
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Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting. Well, for example, the other day my wife and I went into town and went into a shop. We were only in there for about 5 minutes. When we came out, there was a cop writing out a parking ticket. We went up to him and said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?" He ignored us and continued writing the ticket. I called him a Nazi turd. He glared at me and started Writing another ticket for having worn tires. So my wife called him a ****-head. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first. Then he started writing a third ticket. This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote. Personally, we didn't care. We came into town by bus.
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Q: What happens if your dishwasher stops working? A: You punch her in the face and remind her of her duties.
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Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg was recently hospitalize, because Chuck Norris poked him.
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Yo mamma so stupid when she went to the library to get an application for a library card they said: "I need your ID" she gave them an EBT card.
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A young lad is sitting at the table doing his homework. Dad, he says, "What is the difference between 'potentially' & 'realistically'"? Father scratches his chin, inhales sharply and says,"That's a tough one; it's probably easier to demonstrate. Go & ask your mother if she would sleep with the milkman for 1 million quid; then ask your sister the same question" ... 2 minutes later, the lad is back. "Dad, they both said for 1 million quid...? Definitely!" Well son, says the old man, "There is your answer; potentially, we are sitting on 2 million quid; realistically, we are living with a pair of slags..!
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Status I didn't fall down, I attacked the floor.
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Yo mama is stupid, she put a book in her friend face and named facebook.
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Q: What did the butcher say when he backed into the meat-grinder? A: Looks like I'm getting a little behind in my work!
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Why is Facebook like Jail? "You have a profile picture, you sit around all day writing on walls, and you get poked by guys you don't really know!"
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has 80.72 % from 382 votes. More jokes about: Facebook