Status I didn't fall down, I attacked the floor.
A client calls to hotline of internet service provider: I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now.. I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC? Of course I do - it's Facebook...
Anyone remember the good old days before Facebook, Instagram and Twitter? When you had to take a photo of your dinner, then get the film developed, then go around to all your friends' houses to show them the picture of your dinner? No? Me neither.
Guy comes up the hill, look up to the sky and yells, "God, I want to hear your opinion! Is Facebook harmful?" And response from heaven, "A moment, I just finish this status.."
I forgot to post on Facebook I was going to the gym. Now this whole workout was a waste of time.
If you poke Chuck Norris on facebook he will kick you. On facebook!
Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
Chuck Norris got added by facebook itself.
I wonder what Facebook employees do to waste their time at work?
We love Facebook but we hate the face of book.
I hope the next ridiculously popular Facebook trend is shutting the fuck up.