Status I didn't fall down, I attacked the floor.
Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
Chuck Norris can comment on Facebook posts, before you publish them.
Dear Facebook, Everytime I add a girl you ask me "Do you know her? Is she your sister?"
If you need Facebook to remind you it's your wife's birthday, I hope you own a comfortable couch.
Facebook wants to add Chuck Norris as a Friend.
I don't always go to the gym, but when I do, I make sure Facebook knows about it.
I have two accounts on Facebook it means I have two faces. It's really good because one is cuter to attract people.
A client calls to hotline of internet service provider: "I have a problem, internet stopped working two days ago, neither I nor my son nor anyone else can access it now..." "I see, do you know what's the operating system on your PC?" "Of course, I do - it's Facebook..."
Someone figured out my password. Now I have to rename my dog.