My wife came in complaining about me never lifting a finger in the house.
So I did - the middle one.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
A man rushes into his house and yells to his wife, ‘Martha, pack up your things!
I just won the Lottery!’
Martha shouts back, ‘Shall I pack for warm weather or cold?’
The man replies, ‘I don’t care, just as long as you’re out of the house by noon!’
Two husbands were having a conversation,
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
My husband and I married for better or worse.
He couldn’t do better and I couldn’t do worse.
I was married to a Gemini she caught me cheating on her with herself.
Marriage is a workshop, where man works and woman shops.
Walking down the street, a man hears a voice: "Stop! If you take one more step, a brick will fall down and kill you."
The man stopped; a big brick fell in front of him.
The astonished man continued walking to the cross walk.
The voice shouted, "Stop! If you take one more step, a car will run over you and you will die."
The man stood still; a car came careening around the corner, barely missing him.
"Where are you?" the man asked. "Who are you?"
"I am your guardian angel," the voice answered.
"Oh yeah?" the man asked. "Where the hell were you when I got married last week?"
A gay American was caught by his Filipino gay husband cheating.
The American husband asked, "how did you find out?"
The Filipino husband replied, "through my Western Union Receipts."
Our baby was born last week.
When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
When the kids are in college.
Jill tells her husband, “Jack, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome.
Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses.
Now, why can’t you do that?”
“Gosh,” Jack says, “why I hardly know the girl.”