A man says to his wife, "Get ready you, me & the dog are going fishing."
Wife says, "I dont want to go."
Man gives her 3 choices, fishing, blow job or take it up the a*se.
Wife pick blow job.
After she sucking for a while she says, "It tastes like sh*t.
Man says, "I know, dog didnt want to go fishing either."
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Q: How do the makers of Celebrex celebrate?
A: Fuck if I know
Q: What's a horny pirate's worst nightmare?
A: A sunken chest with no booty!
A man joins the navy and is shipped out immediately to an aircraft carrier in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.
The captain is showing the new recruit around the ship, when the recruit asks the captain what the sailors do to satisfy their urges when they're at sea for so long.
"Let me show you," says the captain.
He takes the recruit down to the rear of the ship where there's a solitary barrel with a hole in it.
"This'll be the best sex you'll ever have. Go ahead and try it, and I'll give you some privacy."
The recruit doesn't quite believe it, but he decides to try it anyway. After he finishes up, the captain returns.
"Wow! That was the best sex I've ever had! I want to do it every day!"
"Fine. You can do it every day except for Thursday."
"Why not Thursday?"
"That's your day in the barrel."
Knock,Knock,
Who is there?
Pen!
Pen who?
is...
Vote:
Why do guys think more then girls, and why do girls talk more then guys?
Because guys have two heads and girls have two sets of lips.
A kid walks by his parents having sex asks what's going on and his mother tells him, "We are making fishsticks".
The next day the kid says, "Mom were you making fishsticks again?"
And she says "Why, yes, how did you know, honey?"
And the kid replies, "Well, you have a little tarter sauce on your mouth."
Two doctors are having s*x, he says to her, "You must be a surgeon, you washed your hands before and after."
She replies, "Well you must be an anesthetist, because I didn't feel a f*cking thing!"
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman?
When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
Q: What’s the difference between a Catholic priest and a zit?
A: At least a zit waits until you’re a teenager before it cums on your face!