I wouldn’t say she’s been married a lot but the church is trying to get her to pay for a new aisle carpet.
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A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives.
In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."
A man and wife were having argument about who should make the pot of tea in the morning.
The wife told him that he should do it because he gets up first.
The husband said that she was in charge of the cooking in the house, making it her job.
The wife said that even the bible says that the man should do it.
The husband told her to show him and if it did he would make it.
She fetched the bible and opened up the new testament, showing him at the top of several pages that said "Hebrews".
Vote:
Marraige is a 3-ring circus.
Engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering.
A little boy was attending his first wedding.
After the service, his cousin asked him, "How many women can a man marry?"
"Sixteen," the boy responded. His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly.
"How do you know that?" "Easy," the little boy said.
"All you have to do is add it up, like the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer"
Two friends talking:
"What's up?"
"My wife left me for my best friend.."
"I thought I was your best friend..."
"Now he is."
John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you?
Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name?
Wedding night confession
Husband: Before we married, I slept with many prostitutes,
Wife: I knew I met you before..
A wife arrived home after a long shopping trip, and was horrified to find her husband in bed with a young, lovely thing.
Just as she was about to storm out of the house, her husband stopped her with these words: "Before you leave, I want you to hear how this all came about. Driving home, I saw this young girl, looking poor and tired, I offered her a ride. She was hungry, so I brought her home and fed her some of the roast you had forgotten about in the refrigerator."
Her shoes were worn out so I gave her a pair of your shoes you didn’t wear because they were out of style.
She was cold so I gave her that new birthday sweater you never wore even once because the color didn’t suit you.
Her slacks were worn out so I gave her a pair of yours that you don’t fit into anymore.
Then as she was about to leave the house, she paused and asked, "Is there anything else that your wife doesn’t use anymore?"
"And so, here we are!"
Wife to husband: ‘Let’s go out and have some fun tonight!’
Husband: ‘Okay, but if you get home before I do, leave the hall light on.’