Joke #4058

I wouldn’t say she’s been married a lot but the church is trying to get her to pay for a new aisle carpet.
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I like a big, strong, hardworking man, a man who wakes up early in the morning eager to work hard. I'm talking day-in and day-out just working and sweating and sweating and working, and when it's all over, he showers and goes to his job.
Vote: has 37.27 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

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Husband: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it. Wife: You wear briefs, don't you?
Vote: has 52.04 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

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‘Why don’t you go home to your wife. Better yet, I’ll go home to your wife and, outside of the improvement, she won’t notice any difference.’ Groucho Marx
Vote: has 31.97 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

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Guns don’t kill people – husbands who come home early kill people.
Vote: has 86.11 % from 151 votes. Send joke:

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Wife:"There's trouble with car. It has water in the carburetor." Husband:"Water in a carburetor? That's ridiculous." Wife:"I tell you the cas has water in the carburetor." Husband:"You don't even know what a carburetor is.I'll check it out. Where's the car?" Wife:"In the pool."
Vote: has 53.13 % from 124 votes. Send joke:

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A couple came upon a wishing well. The husband leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The wife made a wish too, but she leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The husband was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "It really works!"
Vote: has 67.67 % from 1202 votes. Send joke:

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He went to the pharmacy and bought a bottle of seasick pills and a tube of lubricant. Upon returning home, his wife said "I've been thinking, there's no reason we can't go for a month." Mr. Johnson went back to the pharmacy and asked for 12 bottles of seasick pills and a tube of lubricant. When he returned his wife said, "Since the children are on their own, what's stopping us from cruising the world?" He went back and bought 200 bottles of seasick pills and more tubes of lubricant. The pharmacist finally had to ask: "You know, Mr. Johnson, I don't mean to pry, but if it makes you that sick, why the hell do you do it?"
Vote: has 86.04 % from 259 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How can you tell if a University of Tennessee football player is married? A: There is tobacco spit on both sides of his pickup truck.
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Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Vote: has 84.66 % from 250 votes. Send joke:

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A married couple went out to a nice restaurant to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary. While driving home the wife saw a tear coming from her husband’s eye. “Are you happy that we have spent 50 splendid years together?” she said. He said, “No. I was just thinking about our wedding and how your father threatened me with a shotgun that is I didn’t marry you right then he would have me thrown in prison for 50 years. Tomorrow I could have been free!”
Vote: has 63.44 % from 332 votes. Send joke:

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