A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today" The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes." "What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss. "I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."
Did you hear about the pub owner who raised a baby rabbit? It was an inn-grown hare.
What gas do snails prefer? Shell.
What's the best way to make a bull sweat? Put him in a tight jumper !
What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man? Tarzan stripes forever.
Why was the lion-tamer fined? He parked on a yellow lion.
What do rabbits put in their computers? Hoppy disks.
If it walks like a duck, talks lidek a duck, and smell like a duck but Chuck Norris says it's a girrafe. It's a damn girrafe!
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee.
How does a frog confuse you? When he comes out and says he needed that nap and feels much better.
What do cows usually fly around in? Helicowpters and Bulloons.