A guy rings his boss and says "I can't come to work today"
The boss asks why and the guy says "it's my eyes."
"What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss.
"I just can't see myself coming to work, so I'm going fishing instead..."
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Have you seen the offices of the RSPCA?
It’s tiny; you couldn’t swing a cat in there.
Q. Why did the tiger loose at poker?
A. Because he was playing with a cheetah.
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods.
Cats have never forgotten this.
Q: Why did the blonde buy a brown cow?
A: To get chocolate milk.
Why was the skunk angry?
He was incensed.
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested?
A: Charged With Battery.
A blind man with a guide dog comes to a town square, takes the dog by the tail and starts whirling him around.
„What on earth are you doing?!" asks a passer-by.
The blind man replies, „Nothing, just looking around a bit."
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I threw a ball for my dog...
It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket.
Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in.
Which one do you let in?
The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!