"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg."
"Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?"
"Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."
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Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: A bird that will talk your ear off!
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What is a dolphin's favorite TV show?
Whale of fortune.
"Pa's being chased by a bull!"
"Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?"
"Get me some film for my camera."
A man brings his cat to a veterinarian.
He lives the cat there and returns in two days, as preagreed.
He asks the veterinarian:
Is my cat still alive?
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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears.
He had real bears.
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Mohan (to the doctor): "Doctor, can you diagnose my Illness?"
Doctor: "Your eyesight seems to be poor."
Mohan: "How did you come to that conclusion?"
Doctor: "You seemed to have missed noticing the sign, hung outside. This is a veterinary hospital."
One day there was a woman who lost her cat named "LOVE."
It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York.
So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him.
When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, "I'm looking for LOVE."
The policeman arrested her on the spot.
What is the definition of revenge?
A baby with a dog in its mouth.
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What is the feeling that you've smelled a certain skunk before?
Deja phew.