"Yes, ma'am," the old salt confided to the inquisitive lady, "I fell over the side of the ship, and a shark he come along and grabbed me by the leg." "Merciful providence!" his hearer gasped. "And what did you do?" "Let 'im 'ave the leg, o' course, ma'am. I never argues with sharks."
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? A: He was having a bad hare day!
What do you call a cow on a trampoline? A milkshake.
Q: What does a cow make when the sun comes out? A: A shadow.
A zebra has wondered his whole life whether he was a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes. When he dies and goes to heaven he asks God the question "Am I a white zebra with black stripes or a black zebra with white stripes?" God responds, "You are what you are" The zebra goes to his friends and tells them what God had said and that he still doesn't know the answer to his question. One of his friends says, "Well, that means you are a white zebra with black stripes" The zebra asks him why and the friend says, "Because otherwise God would have said 'You is what you is'"
Customer: "Waiter, do you serve crabs?" Waiter: "Please sit down sir, we serve everyone."
Q. Why did the man cross the road? A. He heard the chicken was a slut.
Chuck Norris once taught a French Bulldog to be English.
Sharks have a week dedicated to Chuck Norris.
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
What does a frog say when it sees something' great? Toadly awesome!