Joke #5417

Q:What does one gay say to another homo sitting at the bar? A:"Do you mind if I push in your stool?"

I think my sons gay...I took off the seat of his bike, and he didn't notice.

Q: How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None because they screw each other the dirty fucks.

I could never fight a gay guy. I don't know how to start. "I'm gonna beat your ass... I mean I'm gonna f*ck you up... no, I mean I'm stick my foot so far up your ass.. no, not like that, I mean Fuck you, damn it, I give up

Three gay men died, and were going to be cremated. Their lovers happened to be at the funeral home at the same time, and were discussing what they planned to do with the ashes. The first man said, "My Ryan loved to fly, so I'm going up in a plane and scatter his ashes in the sky." The second man said, "My Ross was a good fisherman, so I'm going to scatter his ashes in our favorite lake." The third man said, "My Jack was such a good lover, I think I'm going to dump his ashes in a pot of chili, so he can tear my ass up just one more time."

What do you call two lesbians in a canoe? Fur traders.

Q: What's the difference between a cook and a gay? A: The cook stirs today's lunch, whereas the gay stirs yesterday's dinner.

One day, a Sodomite went to his doctor's office to get an HIV blood test. While there, his blood got drawn and he then left. Two weeks later, he was back at his doctor's office in an examination room, waiting for the result of the HIV test. Suddenly, his doctor walks into the examination room and says to the gay guy, "I'm awfully sorry to tell you that the test shows that you're definitely HIV positive." The gay guy then asks the doctor, "So, what needs to be done now, doctor?" The doctor says to the gay dude, "I want you to go home, sit down at your kitchen table and eat 20 hamburgers, 20 hot dogs, 20 pizzas, 20 bags of chips, and 20 gallons of ice cream." The gay then asks his doctor, "How's doing all that gonna help me out with my HIV, doctor?" The doctor then replied, "It's not gonna help you out with your HIV at all but it will definitely teach you what your asshole is really for."

A homo went to Denmark to have a sex change operation performed. When 'SHE' returned, a friend asked, "How did it go?" "Oh awful, just awful!" she replied. "What was so awful?" asked the friend, "Did it hurt a lot when they removed the extra parts?" "Oh no," she replied, "That wasn't bad at all." "Well, did it hurt when they put in the silicone implants?" the friend asked. "Oh no, that wasn't bad either!" she replied. "Well then," asked the friend, "What was so awful?" "It was when they cut a hole in my head and took out half my brain!"

One winter year, these two little fleas headed for the warm sunny beaches of California to escape the cold. The first flea got there and started rubbing suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flee legs. Just then, the second flea arrived just a shiverin' and a shakin'. The first flea asked, "What the hell happened to you?" To which the second flea replied "I just rode out here on a bikers mustache and I'm so very coldddd!" The first flea said, "Don't you know the special trick to gettin here, first you go to the airport, go straight to the mens cammode, wait for a young pilot to come along, and when he sits down you climb right up between his butt cheeks where its nice and warm". The second flea agreed that this was a grand idea. The next winter comes along and it was time for the fleas to head for the sunny beaches again. The first flea arrived and began putting suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flea legs. About that time, the second flea arrived again just a shiverin', shakin', and mumbling about how cold he was. The first flea exclaimed "Didn't you learn anything that I taught you about getting here nice and warm?" To which the second flea replied, "I did just as you said; I went to the mens cammode and this pilot came in and sat down, I climbed right up between his butt cheeks and it was so very warm. Next thing I know we stop at a bar and I fell asleep. All of a sudden I woke and there I was, right back on that bikers mustache!

Johny is the first day in jail in the cell with one mighty and a crazy prisoner and this crazy prisoner tells Johny: "You probably do not know that on the first day must every new prisoner must pass over the so-called welcome´s ceremonial. Ok, so I ask you directly. Do you want it with cream or without the cream?" Johny says: "I want it with creme, of course." The crazy prisoner yells and says: "Cremo, come here, please."