Sign at a gay nudist colony: "Gentlemen playing leapfrog are requested to complete their leaps!"
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Three desperately ill men go to their docter seeking help.
One is and alcoholic, One is a chain smoker and the other is gay.
The doctor tells the men if you indulge in any of your habits again you will die.
So the three men leave and then the alcoholic sees a bar and hears its loud music and can't resist.
He orders a shot of whisky drinks it and suddenly drops down dead the other two men walk out side realising how serious this is, but then the chain smoker sees a half a ciggarette on the ground still burning so the gay guy says to the chain smoker "if you bend over to pick that up were both dead"
Q: How do 5 gay men walk?
A: One Direction!
Why does Rick Ross rap about cars when he cant fit in them.
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas.
The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.
After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me...
Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
The best thing after an intensive argument is the peace-sex.
But I hate when I argue with my father-in-law.
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Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus?
GarageBend.
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When Chuck Norris crosses the pacific, swimming, sharks hear the "Jaws" music.
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Q: Why couldn't the pony sing?
A: Because he's a little hoarse.
What do you call hemorrhoids on a fag?
Speed bumps.