Joke #5435

The art teacher instructed her students to do a self portrait. When Andrew handed his picture in, the teacher took one look at it and said, "But, Andrew,this isn’t you." "That’s right," replied Andrew. "It’s a self portrait of someone else."

In clas: 1+1=2 Exam: John has four apples and gives one away. Calculate the mass of the sun.

Teacher: Class, we will have only half a day of school this morning. Class: Hooray! Teacher: We will have the other half this afternoon.

The headmistress at a girls' prep school in the old South (circa 1959) calls down to the army base and speaks with one of the officers: "We're having a social here at school and I was wondering if you could send some of your nice young men to attend." "Why of course," the Lieutenant answers. "Just one thing," says the lady. "Of course you'll make sure there aren't any Jews there." "Why of course," the Lieutenant answers. On the day of the dance, a bus pulls up from the base. Out comes a platoon of black GIs. The schoolmistress is quite distressed. "Why, why, there must be some mistake," she says to a burly black Master Sergeant. "Why heck no, ma'am," he replies. "Lt. Goldberg NEVER makes a mistake!"

Johnny's father: "Let me see your report card." Johnny: "I don't have it." Johnny's father: "Why not?" Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

Yo mama so fat when she was in school she sat by everybody!

Teacher: “You missed school yesterday, didn’t you?” Boy: “Not a bit!”

The teacher said to Danny: "Why are you in the floor?" Danny said: "Because you said to do this Math problem without Tables."

"My son, this is your senior year at school so your mom and I decided that you’re going to be a doctor." "But what are you saying dad? You know very well that I’m not in a position even to... kill a mosquito."

"It's clear" said the teacher, "That you haven't studied your geography. What's your excuse?" "Well, my dad says the world is changing every day. So I decided to wait until it settles down!"

Teacher: “How do you spell “dog”?” Boy: “D, o, g, enter.”