Q. What mode do you use in maths?
A. Multi-plyers.
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What did one math book say to the other math book?
"I don't know about you man, but I got a lot of problems!"
The teacher asked little Johnny, “What’s two and two?”.
He counted 1-2-3-4 on his fingers and said, “Four, teacher?”.
She said, ” Yes, that’s right, but you counted on your fingers. Put your hands behind behind your back and tell me what’s three and three”.
He put his hands behind his back, fumbled around, and answered, “Six, teacher?”.
She said, “Yes, that’s right, but you’re still counting on your fingers.
Put your hands in your pockets and tell me what’s five and five”.
He put his hands in his pockets, fumbled around, and replied, “Eleven, teacher?”.
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Welcome to the accounting department, where everybody counts.
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What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?
Depreciation.
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A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in an experiment.
They were both placed in a room and at the other end was a beautiful naked woman on a bed.
The experimenter said every 30 seconds they would be allowed to travel half the distance between themselves and the woman.
The mathematician said "this is pointless" and stormed off.
The engineer agreed to go ahead with the experiment anyway.
The mathematician exclaimed on his way out "don't you see, you'll never actually reach her?".
To which the engineer replied, "so what? Pretty soon I'll be close enough for all practical purposes!"
Q:What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
A:A high school math problem!
...and then the devil said, "Let's put the alphabet into mathematics."
Chuck Norris drew a triangle with four sides.
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The square root of Pain is Chuck Norris.
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