Q. What mode do you use in maths?
A. Multi-plyers.
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The teacher asks a student "If you have $5 and billy takes $3, how much do you have left?"
The student replies "Not enough for fucking lunch and billy ain't gonna have no got damn teeth left stealing my 3 dollars."
The teacher asks little Johnny if he knows his numbers.
"Yes," he says. "My daddy taught me."
"Can you tell me what comes after three?"
"Four," answers little Johnny.
"What comes after six?"
"Seven," answers little Johnny.
"Very good," says the teacher. "Your father did a very fine job.
What comes after ten?"
"A jack," answers little Johnny.
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Q:What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?
A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work.
The philosopher can do without the trash bin.
Two statisticians go bird hunting.
The first one fires at the bird but overshoots by 5 feet.
The second one fires and undershoots the bird by 5 feet.
They both give each other a high-five and say "Got it!"
Chuck Norris can divide prime numbers into whole numbers.
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Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
Q:What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
A:A high school math problem!
Once you go asian you never miss an equation.
Q: Why did the mathbook kill himself?
A: Because nobody understood him.