Joke #5541

Q:What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher? A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work. The philosopher can do without the trash bin.

2 > 1... unless that 1 is Chuck Norris.

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, "Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?" Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!"

Did you hear about the mathematician with constipation ? He had to work it out with a pencil...

Yo mama is so fat that she took geometry at the school because she heard there will be some pi.

Black holes are where God divided by zero.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.

A mathematician and his best friend, an engineer, attend a public lecture on geometry in thirteen-dimensional space. "How did you like it?" the mathematician wants to know after the talk. "My head's spinning," the engineer confesses. "How can you develop any intuition for thirteen-dimensional space?" "Well, it's not even difficult. All I do is visualize the situation in n-dimensional space and then set n = 13."

Q: How many mathematicians does it take to change a lightbulb? A: On average or do you want the whole distribution?

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.

One attractive young businesswoman to another over lunch: "My life is all math. I am trying to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying."