Q:What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher? A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work. The philosopher can do without the trash bin.
Two random variables were talking in a bar. They thought they were being discrete but I heard their chatter continuously.
Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
There was a statistician that drowned crossing a river... It was 3 feet deep on average.
I used to think maths was useless, but then one day I realised that decimals had a point.
Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a solar powered calculator? A: The blonde works in the dark!
What is the shortest mathematicians joke? Let epsilon be smaller than zero.
Do you like maths? If so add a bed subtract your clothes divide your legs and we can multiply!
Chuck Norris can divide prime numbers into whole numbers.
Little Johnny was doing his math homework. He said to himself, "Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a bitch is nine." His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?" The little boy answered, "I'm doing my math homework." "And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked. "Yes," he answered. Infuriated, the called Little Johnny's teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in class?" The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition." The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?" After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, "What I taught them was, two plus two, the sum of which is four."
Equation Men = eat + sleep + earn money Donkeys = eat + sleep Therefore, Men = Donkeys + earn money Therefore, Men - earn money = Donkeys In other words, Men that don't earn money = Donkeys