In clas: 1+1=2
Exam: John has four apples and gives one away. Calculate the mass of the sun.
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"Well, children," said the cannibal cooking teacher.
"What did you make of the new English teacher?"
"Burgers, ma'am."
In school, we had to do a skit demonstrating key concepts of the English language.
My skit on the "diphthong" clearly demonstrated that the string micro-bikini was not a wise choice.
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Fred came home from his first day at school.
"Nothing exciting happened", he told his mother, "Except the teacher didn't know how to spell cat so I told her."
During an English lesson, the teacher notices that a boy was not paying attention to him.
Teacher asks, "Johnny, join these two sentences together.
I was cycling to school.
I saw a dead body."
Little Johnny after thinking for a while says, "I saw a dead body cycling to school."
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Yo mama so dumb,when she got an "F" on her test, she thought it mean Fantastic!
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home
Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
Q: Why was the wizard kicked out of school.
A: Because he forgot how to spell.
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What did the tampon say to the other tampon in school?
I'll see you next period.
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The Sunday School Teacher asks, “Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?”
“No sir,” Little Johnny replies, “I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook!”
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A student visits the principal's office
The principal asks: "What is your name?"
The student replies: "D-d-d-dav-dav-david."
The principal asks: "Do you have a stutter?"
Student answers: "No, my dad has a stutter but the guy who registered my name was an asshole."
