Joke #2697

John: Knock, knock. Justin: Who’s there? John: Gladys. Justin: Gladys, who? John: Gladys the weekend—no homework!

A second grader came home from school and said to her mother, "Mom, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The mother, more that a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?" "It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."

Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school? A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.

Son: I can't go to school today. Father: Why not? Son: I don't feel so well. Father: Where does it hurt? Son: In school.

Johny met his classmate from high school after ten years who was still very beautiful. As he met her, he told her only: "Hi Ann, I am pleased to see you again after so many years." Ann took a look at his pants and said: "I know that you´re pleased."

Two friends, Jenny and Jinny were thinking what to play during the afternoon. For a long time, they could not decide upon any game. Suddenly, Jenny had an idea. She turned to Jinny and said excitedly. "Let's play schools". "OK!" said Jinny. "But I'm going to be absent."

Jane was sitting in anatomy class on day when her teacher asked her a question. He inquired, “What grows to 10 times its original size when excited?” Jane blushed and said that she didn't know. Jimmy raised his hand and said, “I know! The pupil of the eye.” The teacher replied, “Yes, very good Jimmy.” The the teacher turned to Jane and said, “Jane I have three things to say to you: One -- you have a very dirty mind. Two -- you haven't been studying hard enough. And three -- you're going to be very disappointed!”

The child comes home from his first day at school. Mother: “What did you learn today?” Kid: “Not enough. I have to go back tomorrow.”

How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb? None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.

I was gutted this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn't actually mine. She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.

"Dad, I don't want to go to school today." said the boy. "Why not, son?" "Well, one of the chickens on the school farm died last week and we had chicken soup for lunch the next day. Then three days ago one of the pigs died and we had roast pork the next day." "But why don't you want to go today?" "Because our English teacher died yesterday!"